Showing posts with label staton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label staton. Show all posts

Monday, March 23, 2026

The Justice Society vs. Hitler and The Spear of Destiny, Round One: On 1977's DC Special #29

In discussing what seems to be the first appearance of the Spear of Destiny in the DC Universe in 1977's Weird War Tales #50, a couple of you pointed me towards that same year's DC Special #29 as the first time the spear played a part in the story of the Justice Society. Over the decades, the magical properties of the spear were used as a retroactive explanation—that is, a retcon—of why it was that America's many powerful superheroes didn't directly enter World War II, with nigh omnipotent characters like The Spectre or Doctor Fate subduing Germany and capturing Hitler over the course of a busy afternoon.

The special was much easier to find than I originally worried, as it was collected in the back of 2006's Justice Society Vol. 1, which contained the first half of the 1976-1978 All-Star Comics series (It looks like it was also collected in 2011's Showcase Presents: All-Star Comics, one of the too-many Showcase collection I unfortunately missed, and 2019's All-Star Comics: Only Legends Live Forever).

Entitled "The Untold Origin of the Justice Society of America", the 34-page, oversized story was the work of writer Paul Levitz, pencil artist Joe Staton and inker Bob Layton, with Neal Adams providing the cover, in which the Justice Society battles Valkyries while the greatest comic book villain of the Golden Age rants and raves in the foreground.

While the Spear of Destiny does feature rather prominently in the proceedings, and while it does evince magical powers that give Hitler some military advantage over America's superheroes, Levitz does not use it as any sort of explanation for why the JSoA didn't serve on the frontlines of the war, so that aspect of the spear in DCU history must have been introduced sometime later. 

It's also worth noting that this "Untold" origin of the Justice Society seems to contradict their actual origins from 1940's All-Star Comics #3 and the earlier issues of the series in several ways...which I only know because DC recently collected those comics in a pair of DC Finest: Justice Society of America trades.

First, there's the line-up. The Golden Age Batman and Superman are here involved in this adventure, whereas they were honorary members in the original comics (In a fun peculiarity, whenever a JSoA member got their own title, they were essentially promoted to "honorary member," leaving behind the also-rans of the Society; Wonder Woman was an exception, but then, she served as the Society's secretary, and thus wasn't active in each of their adventures). Meanwhile, Johnny Thunder, who was present from the first, even if he had to wait a few issues before he could earn an official chair at the team's round table, is here MIA.

Second, here the team's origin is prompted by President Franklin Roosevelt, who sends a trio of heroes on a mission into wartime Europe, and others join in various ways as the adventure unfolds. In the last pages, Roosevelt suggests they stick together as a team. 

Of course, in the original comics, the team seems like more of a social club devoted to swapping stories, and the war had no influence over their first banding together. They would soon go on various missions at the behest of the government, though (as soon as All-Star Comics #4, in fact), and they did all temporarily resign to join various branches of the armed forces (in All-Star Comics #11), an army general asking them to stick together in their superhero identities and form "The Justice Battalion of America." (Here, Hawkman suggests they form "a special super-batallion," [sic] but Superman corrects him, saying "we're not part of any army" and that "we fight only in the cause of justice...and that'll give us our name...").

With that out of the way, let's see how Levitz had reimagined the formation of the Justice Society, over 35 years after Gardner Fox and company had originally assembled them, and, in particular, how he made use of the Spear of Destiny.

I suppose I should also not that, this being 1977, this entire story is set on DC's Earth-2, the alternate world where the publisher's Golden Age comics all really happened, and where the original, Golden Age versions of their heroes continued to adventure on into the present day (Crisis on Infinite Earths would later collapsed Earth-2 into a single DCU, where the Golden Age heroes passed the baton onto the Silver Age heroes, and the likes of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman were all modern-day heroes, their Golden Age iterations erased from continuity). That said, this story—or at least a slightly altered version of it—still existed post-Crisis, as Roy Thomas, Michael Bair and Bob Downs would re-tell it in 1988's Secret Origins #31, stripping Batman and Superman out of the proceedings...along with a few other alterations. (We'll take a look at that story in a future post). 

The title page features a crowd of over 20 heroes, the entirety of the Earth-Two Justice Society, with Red Tornado Ma Hunkel and the other Red Tornado in the back, and the likes of Power Girl, Skyman and Robin-with-yellow-pants in the foreground. 

In the upper left corner, Levitz pens a green narration box setting the stage:

In the winter of 1940, Adolf Hitler abandoned plans to invade England! To this day, no one knows why--no one but the ten heroes who battled across two continents to ruin those plans--and give birth to a legend!

One stormy night in 1940, a British agent named Smythe meets with President Roosevelt (who Staton gives a huge, pumpkin of a head, its size seemingly magnified by the tininess of his little glasses), telling him that he has reliable information that Hitler plans to invade England, and that he's been sent to ask for America's help in repelling the Nazis.

Roosevelt responds:

As God is my witness, you know I want to help...but I am the president of this great nation--not the king.

And I have promised my friends, the American people, that I would not lead them into war--not unless we were attacked!

How quaint that all sounds today! An American president acknowledging the limits of his powers, specifically saying he's not a king. An American president who feels honor bound to keep his word regarding not entering a war to the people who elected him. An American president who realizes he can't just enter a war because he wants to. 

Roosevelt has something of a compromise, or a workaround, to suggest to Smythe instead, though: Sending some of the "costumed heroes" who have appeared all over America in the last few months, men who are "more powerful, more daring than ordinary mortals."

Across his desk he slides a half-dozen photos of some of these guys, including the likes of Green Lantern, The Flash, Doctor Fate and, um, Batman, who I guess is technically more daring than ordinary mortals but, well, he's not the secret weapon I'd send to stave off an enemy army if I had my pick of Golden Age superheroes...

But what do I know?

A week later, Batman answers the bat-signal to find Green Lantern, The Flash and Smythe waiting for him in Commissioner Gordon's office. Maybe Smythe decided to call on Batman because, though lacking in super-powers of any kind, he is the easiest superhero to get a hold of...?

The trio are sent to a castle in Scotland, where advance men for the Nazi invasion are based. The heroes bust them up, but the aren't counting on the presence of an "experimental...murder machine!", a big, green robot with a swastika on its chest that kerShlams Batman into unconsciousness. Then The Flash bounces off of the robot at super-speed and strikes Green Lantern, rendering them both unconscious as well. 

The first use of superheroes in World War II does not exactly get off to a great start, then.

We then find the heroes in Berlin, where they stand atop a high wall, bound at the wrists and ankles, while Adolf Hilter himself plans to unmask them and publicly execute them, using "the ancient Spear of Destiny that a Roman soldier used on Christ himself!"

 It's unclear why The Flash's speed powers are no use to him when it comes to escaping such bonds, nor why Green Lantern can't use his ring to break free (It's not like he's in a wooden stockade or anything). Levitz never explains this, either. 

Regardless, Doctor Fate and Hourman appear, the former having seen Batman and company's capture in a crystal ball, and then picked up the latter on his way to Berlin. "I have need of your power!" Fate said by explanation to the Man of the Hour; granted, Hourman has more power than Batman, but wouldn't The Spectre of Superman have been a better get...?

As the newcomers free their fellow mystery men, Hitler grips the now-glowing spear and shouts.

"Then you Amerikaners are doubly fools," he starts: 

For you shall now only pay with your lives--

--you shall not stop the blitzkrieg that strikes Britain!

This I swear by the mystic spear and by all that is holy to Germany!

There's a flash of lightning in the sky, and a loud "Kulthoom," apparently the sound of thunder. Doctor Fate yells a warning at Hitler: "Madman--put down that talisman! You are unleashing forces beyond your ken--or your control!"

But it's too late. Through the power of the spear, Hitler has inadvertently summoned the Valkyries, "the sword-maidens of the Germanic war god, Wotan." Staton's women warriors seem to hail from a Norse mythology more like the one Jack Kirby drew for Marvel than that of our world. The fierce-looking women, each astride a winged white horse, wear tight red and green uniforms that suggest superhero costumes, the necklines plunging to their waists, showing off lots of cleavage. 

Fate leads the heroes into battle against the women, a battle that "rages overhead like a tempest", despite the fact that most of the heroes can't fly like Fate and Green Lantern can. Maybe Fate's magic is keeping the others airborne...? (In one panel, Staton does draw a tornado beneath The Flash's feet, though, so maybe his speed was able to generate a swirl of sufficiently powerful wind to keep him aloft...)

Meanwhile, Germany's invasion fleet closes in on England, and so Fate unleashes four magical tendrils that stretch across the Atlantic to pluck defenders from America. These turn out to be The Sandman, The Atom and Hawkman (Hawkman's helmet looks off to me; it's not the weird, screeching bird face mask he wore in the Golden Age All-Star Comics, but looks more like that of the Silver Age, Thanagarian Hawkman; did the Golden Age Hawkman ever wear such a mask? Like all things Hawkman, I have no idea). 

Somehow, this trio seems to help turn the tide on the beaches, despite the fact that all three are basically just above average regular guys, likely in better shape and more experienced at punching people out than the average G.I. would be, but otherwise not bringing all that much to the battle.

I mean, Hawkman's power is that he flies (He doesn't even bring a mace to this fight). The Atom's is that...he works out a lot...? And The Sandman? Well, his gimmick is that he puts gangsters to sleep and leaves them poetry...at this point, he's still in his suit, hat and cape instead of the purple and yellow tights he would later change into, but rather than a gas gun, here he throws sand at his foes, sand that seems to have a soporific effect.

At any rate, together with British military (and I have to assume the British military did most of the work), the three American heroes are able to repel the invasion...at least for a panel. With dismay, they realize that they had only turned back the very first wave, and that a whole fleet is on its way. 

But then the fourth hero Doctor Fate had summoned across the sea makes his appearance, first as "a sinister shadow against the moon," and then taking his more familiar form, that of "The astral avenger known only as...THE SPECTRE!"

The Spectre descends from the sky as a giant, wades through the English Channel, which reaches only to his waist, and sinks the fleet singlehandedly. 

At one point, he scoops a defiant Nazi officer up in his giant hand and looks directly at him, seemingly breaking the man as he does so: "Admiral Wilheim von Krupp looked into the eye of The Spectre this night... And all he saw was death!"

The Spectre's brief battle against the German fleet takes up only two pages, but there's one panel that is of particular interest. Levitz's narration reads, "Like the Angel of Death among the Egyptians, he visits each and every ship..."

That's an evocative image, of course, and a pretty intriguing metaphor. I can't help but wonder if John Ostrander had read it when it was originally published, or if he had encountered in when doing research for his 1992-1998 series The Spectre, which revealed that the "astral avenger" wasn't simply a powerful vengeful ghost, but was in fact the embodiment of God's own wrath. Indeed, in The Spectre #14, The Phantom Stranger tells us that The Spectre was literally the angel of death that went among the Egyptians in the Exodus story. 

If Ostrander did not read this scene in this particular comic book, though, he definitely read it in Secret Origins #31. In 1994's Spectre #20, an elderly Johnny Thunder tells a story of the first time he met The Spectre, when they were fighting "a holding action against a German invasion fleet that was in the English Channel." Johnny's story is only five panels, the first of which is a splash page showing a gigantic Spectre ankle-deep in the channel, holding aloft a German ship as if it were a toy. The remaining four panels show a German officer looking The Spectre in the eye, in which he sees the image of a skull. This retells a scene from both DC Special #29 and Secret Origins #31, although here it's a little more deadly sounding: "All them Germans that looked The Spectre in the eye--they all died screaming, you know that? Every one..." (Of course, Johnny Thunder wasn't present for the battle in the channel in either previous telling of that story, but then, by the time he's telling it, his memory had started to fail, so perhaps he was confused about the first time he had met the Spectre...or if he himself was even at the channel that day.)

Back in Berlin, the heroes finally beat back the Valkyries, and the furious Fuehrer grabs nearby underling Professor Stauffen by the lapels, demanding that he send their experimental long-range bomber to attack America immediately, despite the fact that the U.S. wasn't yet officially at war with Germany, and that the bomber was one of a kind, its early deployment risking the whole program.

Hitler is unmoved: "Set a course for Washington, D.C.--I want the Amerikaner president and capitol destroyed!"

As the plane takes off, the Valkyries reappear around it, acting as, in Levitz's words, "an unholy honor guard." The heroes, who have by now all gathered on the beaches of England, see the accompanying Valkyries pass nearby on their way across the Atlantic, and again they clash in the skies (Batman, Hourman, The Sandman and The Atom are carried aloft on a Green Lantern ring-generated platform, while Staton again draws The Flash with a little tornado beneath his feet as he runs in the sky). 

Even with The Spectre's help, the two sides seem evenly matched, and they fight all the way across the ocean and into the airspace above Washington, the heroes never able to overcome the warrior women and get their hands on the plane.

In the last panel on one page, something seems to catch Green Lantern's eye below. "Look--leaping up from the press building--" he starts. 

A turn of the page reveals a striking splash, depicting Superman soaring up into the air and breaking fist first through the Nazi plane (with men parachuting to safety in the background, presumably to assure readers that Superman had not, in fact, just killed the plane's crew). In the upper left corner are two big words in bold red, the last two words of Green Lantern's sentence: "It's Superman!" That last word is the character's familiar logo.

After destroying the plane, Superman then catches the massive bomb it was carrying (With a big blue "OOF!" on the Man of Steel's part). 

The Valkyries fight on, though, and one manages to leap through a window into President Roosevelt's office. She takes aim with her spear, and from its tip leaps some kind of energy beam. Before the beam can strike the president, though, The Atom leaps in front of him, taking the blast himself.

After this, the Valkyries disappear again, and Roosevelt asks after "the little fellow" who had just saved his life, as the wounded Atom, his costume ripped at the chest, is being cradled in Hawkman's arms. 

"F-Fine, Mr. President," The Atom manages. "Don't you know--you can't split an atom?"

Well, not yet Al, but they're working on it...!

It is here that Roosevelt says it would be a shame to split this group up, as "you'd make a snappy army regiment!"

Superman immediately replies that he doesn't think that's possible, while The Spectre disagrees, almost quoting Shakespeare to the Man of Steel: "More things are possible than you know, Superman--"

Doctor Fate finishes The Spectre's thought: "--And this one is necessary--if we are to battle the great evils I see in the days ahead!"

It is here that Hawkman suggests the formation of a "special super-batallion" [sic], and Superman corrects him, giving the team it's official name, which appears on the last page of the story, a splash featuring all ten heroes posing with their hands on their hips or their arms crossed...well, all except The Atom, who still looks a little worse for wear after taking a blast to the chest. 

Now, as to why these heroes didn't just return to Europe the next day to take care of the Nazi threat, or do so when the U.S. officially entered the war the following year, this story never offers an answer. It would be up to future stories by later writers to explain how in a world where the likes of The Spectre, Superman and Doctor Fate could fight for the allies that the war lasted as long as it did. 

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

How am I supposed to read this comic when all the characters keep shouting at me?!

It-- It is? Did I say that? How did Batgirl hear me...?

Okay if you say so Batgirl, but-- Wait, what?

Superman?! Grab hold to what--? Wh-- Buh-- Can you guys see me out here or what?! AAAaaaaaa!!



(Superman, Batgirl and Caleb—a fat, bald, bearded gold prospecting/hobo type in a tuxedo and cummerbund—face the awesome bird-headed villainy of Dr. Horus and his interdimensional, evil-emanating house in DC Comics Presents #19 by Denny O'Neil, Joe Staton and F. Chiaramonte, which is handily collected in Showcase Presents: DC Comics Presents—The Superman Team-Ups Vol. 1, which I promise to quit blogging about, since three posts in as many days is probably kind of pushing it, huh?)

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #8

Long, long ago—maybe eight or nine months ago, although it seems like it's been years—I noticed that the basic plot of Brian Michael Bendis and Leinil Francis Yu's Secret Invasion story sounded a lot like the basic plot of DC's 1988 hostile-aliens-invade-Earth-by-infiltrating-the-heroes storyline, Millennium (Not that the observation was unique to me or anything; anyone who's read Millennium probably had the exact same reacation). And I thought, Hey, maybe it would be fun to re-read an issue of Millennium each week I read an issue of Secret Invasion, and publish an examination of it.

Well, as it turned out, it wasn't much fun of at all, and, after a certain point, it became kind of a waste of time, given that DC actually took my advice and published a trade of Millennium for the express purpose of saying, Hey, comics readers! Marvel's biting off our worst story ideas from 20 years ago!

But, at that same point, I didn't want to give up. Who wants to be known as The Guy Who Wrote Five Really Long Posts About Millennium Then Gave Up, instead of The Guy Who Wrote A Really Long Post About Each Issue Of Millennium. Having come so far, how could I abandon my quest to make EDILW the Internet's number one source for disucssion of DC's 1988 weekly series Millennium? (Shit; I just googled "Millennium, 'DC Comics'" and EDILW is only the seventh site to come up. Perhaps this was all for naught...)

So here it is! The very last post about the very last issue of Millennium! And then I'll put these crumbling yellow comics back into their cardboard coffin and never see them again.

So here we are at Millennium #8, “The Rising and Advancing of Ten Spirits.”


In the last issue, we saw that the Manhunters were defeated on earth after Earth’s “heroes” had destroyed their planet and murdered every last one of them, the lost space heroes successfully returned to earth, it was revealed that Booster Gold had secretly invaded the Manhunters… what’s left to resolve? Oh yeah, all that boring New Age-y business about the ethnic stereotypes who are to guide humanity into “The Millennium.”

We open outside Hal Jordan’s condo, where the heroes have all gathered to form an aisle for some sort of wedding or graduation type ceremony:

“They’e ready for ya now!” Kilowog says, and rushes to push play on an off-panel boombox that will play “Pomp and Circumstance.”

Writer Steve Englehart starts out with the weirdest narration box: “See, it’s an extraordinary day in the DC Universe…!”

Is it? Oh, we’ll see about that.

The Immortals, now rapidly aging because, well just because, recap just what the hell’s going on here,

and then it’s time to start passing out superhero powers and makeovers.

First up is Xiang. Herupa shoots green light out of his forehead and Nadia shoots violet light out of her head, and the result is that Xiang is no longer Xiang, but

Here’s the saddest part of this issue and, indeed, this whole series. Look closely at Gloss’ name there. Not only does she get her own special logo, but there’s a teeny little “TM” after it. DC trademarked Gloss. They were so confident that they had the next Wonder Woman on their hands, or at least the next Infinity Inc. character, that they went and put a TM after her name. They do this with all of The Chosen, who will all become pretty terrible superheroes.

“It’s-- --Clarity! Power! Sleek Sensation!” Xiang shouts, and explains that the Chinese know feng-shui, and that she can draw power from the earth’s dragon-lines, power and “sinuous skill!”

Betty points out to the others that Gloss said “the Chinese,” as if she herself were no longer Chinese, and they immediately catch on.

I know I’ve said this before but man, Gregorio is just. So. Gay.

I know there are supposedly more and bigger name gay superheroes in the DCU now, but have we really come that far? Renee Montoya, Obsidian and Batwoman may be gay, but add all three of them together and they’re still not half as gay as Gregorio.

This Xiang-to-Gloss sequence establishes a pattern that most of the book will follow. The Chosen say some nice things to one another, one of them walks up for the green and violet ray blast and they become a lame-ass superhero. They then explain their powers, and some DC superheroes strain to make some connection between themselves and the new guys, while cosmic onlookers from around the universe throw in their two cents worth (Here, some Greek goddesses on Olympus say “Diana’s involvement in man’s world has borne its first fruit!” while the Parliament of Trees talk about The Green and Woodrue.

Next up, is Takeo:

who, as his new codename suggests, now has computer-y powers. “Fields link—Data spiral through the ether —through my fingers —for meRandom Access Memory!

Then Gregorio,

who is somehow made even gayer.

This is the face of gay superheroes in 1988:


Extrano explains his powers—“I’m a witch!”—while The Phantom Stranger stands atop a rock, making puns to himself.

"Somewhither?"

Betty becomes

the earth, I guess? She’s not really a superhero per se, but a funny looking globe symbolizing the planet and providing a connection with Gregorio.

Celia gets taller, bustier, hip-ier and more scantily clad to become

Huh, the same thing happened to Xiang, actually.

Next up is Tom Kalamaku, but he decides to take a pass, and explains that it’s basically because his wife has been nagging him all miniseries and the dude is totally pussy-whipped:

Hal understands, and takes the opportunity to slur Tom’s ethnicity for the 5,000th time in his life:

As an aside, I prefer when Hal’s mask has the eyes pupil-less white triangle, a la Batman’s. Something about his mask really creeps me out otherwise:

See? Creepy.

Since Tom is such a baby about the whole thing the Immortals pick Harbinger as his replacement, but she bolts, so they give Tom his power in latent form, to protect him from fat white racist South African guy who washed out of the enlightenment program. He is determined to get his revenge:

Their task done, the Immortals drop dead.

Sick of this shit, Superman and the real superheroes decide that since their hosts have died, they don’t have to feel compelled to stay any more and get ready to bolt, but not before Batman and Brainwave each make a pass at Jet:

And then the old superheroes all take off in a pretty cool splash panel that Staton unfortunately laid out diagonally so I can’t scan it in its entirely:

And we get a final, posed panel of the new super team:

And that's the last anyone would ever see of these new superheroes.

The end.



Previously:
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #1
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #2
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #3
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #4
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #5
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #6
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #7

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #7


Marvel’s Secret Invasion has entered its seventh month, which means it’s time to look back on DC’s twenty-year-old version of the story.

While this is the penultimate issue of the series, it is in actuality the climax of the story. This is the issue in which the forces of good (the DC superheroes) and the forces of evil (the space android cult) resolve their conflict though a big fight, while the eighth and final issue of Millennium is reserved for the most excruciatingly embarrassing twenty-two pages in DC Comics history, setting up a brand-new super-team composed of brand-new superheroes who will all be ignored and forgotten in a matter of months.

But that’s next issues; let’s look at Millennium #7, once again written by Steve Englehart and drawn by Joe Staton and Ian Gibson, who managed to draw a whole comic book miniseries all by themselves, without needing guest-artists, teams of emergency inkers, or shipping delays. And remember, it was a weekly! They sure knew how to work ahead at DC back in the ‘80s…

The action starts out in outer space, where the Manhunter Kill Krew composed of Superman, Martian Manhunter, The Hawks, a handful of Green Lanterns and the rest are giving Dr. Fate shit for his inability to magically teleport them all back to Earth. The last time we saw this squad, they were almost all dead, their souls being stored within Superman and Hal Jordan, so apparently their situation improved in one of the tie-ins.

The most worried of the heroes is Harbinger, who feels that Earth is still under threat form the Manhunters, even though they had destroyed the Manhunter home world. In an act of desperation, she teleports away, causing Hal Jordan’s teenage girlfriend Arisia to remark, “You never told me she could do that, Hal!”

Dr. Fate, who is not Hal, responds anyway: “The Millennium is a time of evolution for many.”

I know from experience that Dr. Fate speaks the truth. It was between 1999 and 2000 that my hair evolved from thinning to straight-up bald, and it was also around that time that I evolved wisdom teeth.

As it turns out, Harbinger is right! Earth is still in danger from the Manhunters, as the rest of the heroes decided last issue that perhaps the Manhunters have a base in the center of the earth.

They’ve assembled into some kinda crazy bathysphere ship that looks like a giant mine to get there:
The plan is to use this experimental craft of Blue Beetle’s to descend underwater into the Mariana Trench, then into a volcano, then through the bottom of the volcano (Is this geologically sound comic book-scripting?) and then storm the Manhunter HQ.

Blue Beetle and Mr. Miracle banter about whether or not the ship can survive the stresses, which is why it seems so weird to me that Bones is smoking:
I don’t know if it’s outright dangerous to smoke in an experimental submersible craft or not, but, at the very least, it’s gotta be rude, right?

The craft hold together, and our heroes find themselves in some sort of artificial atmosphere, right above a hidden base. Harbinger appears before the heroes, to be given a stupid nickname by Brainwave:
And while they storm Manhunter base, the immortals are teaching their chosen ones tai chi, and they themselves are suddenly aging quite rapidly.

Note Nuklon up there in the upper right corner. JSA fans know that he changed his name to Atom-Smasher and started wearing a full face-mask, presumably to honor his ancestor, The Atom. This is not true at all. He actually changed his name because “Nuklon” is a pretty stupid name, and he covers his face out of shame, for having gone out in public like this for so long:
Tom Kalamaku being one of the chosen has caused quite a rift in his relationship with his family. Over his shoulder, he catches his wife watching him do tai chi and crying, leading to this dramatic exchange:
Back underground, John Stewart shushes his comrades,
and prepares to subtly, stealthily, scope out the situation
by conjuring up a giant, glowing green ear.

What does he hear? Only that the Manhunters have a doomsday device that they’re prepared to detonate as a last resort! If they can’t own the earth, they’ll destroy it completely!

Just then, the heroes are discovered by Manhunter guards, and a battle ensues, sending them crashing through the roof and into the thick of the Manhunters.

Here’s Batman, wearing his special white android ass-kicking left boot:
Among the Manhunter androids are some of their allies, like Booster Gold, who betrayed the heroes, and the android Pan, who had infiltrated the Greek pantheon.

Capturing Pan is Wonder Woman’s assigned task, and she opens with a flying scissor lock:
When Pan tries to bolt, she lassos him with her unbreakable lariat and hangs on tight as he tries to running away, and
she cuts himself in half!

Hardcore, Wonder Woman.

Here’s a whole page of the fight. Note the exciting jumble of panel shapes:
Englehart and company try giving us little snapshots of the characters in each of these panels.

The Mike Grell Green Arrow is kind of ashamed of being a superhero instead of a realistic urban vigilante, but he still finds shooting arrows at robots thrilling, Mr. Miracle is colorful, Aquaman can’t shut up about what percentage of the earth is his own personal property (This is the second time in this very issue he’s noted that), and so on.

On doomsday device guarding duty is Booster Gold, and he and his Manhunter allies face off against some Leaguers and Infinitors, which is what people actually called the member of Infinity Inc.:
Man. How many times has the “out of your league” joke been made in DC comics, in reference to Justice Leaguers, do you think? 250 times? 500?

As the tide seems to turn against the Manhunters, one of them reaches to detonate the doomsday device, only to find that—the traitor Booster Gold is now betraying them?!
That last panel, by the way, is probably my favorite of the entire series.

I love the fact that Jade says. “Want to check?” for no real reason, and the Manhunter responds by screaming “YES!

What? It’s so random. He wants to check if they’re all humans…? He wants to search them for louses…?

And so the day is saved, and a terrible adjective is coined by Booster Gold,
although his fellow superheroes don’t believe he was a double agent all along just yet.

The conquering heroes, whom Nadia says “have covered themselves in glory,” meet the immortals, the chosen and the returning space heroes outside Hal Jordan’s condo, for the big ceremony that these past seven issues have been building up to.

But we’ll get to that next month, when Millennium ends…not with a bang, but a whimper.

In the meantime, does anyone know if they still make these Striped Chips Ahoy cookies?
These ads are making me crave them, but I can’t remember the last time I saw them in a grocery store…



Previously:
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #1
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #2
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #3
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #4
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #5
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #6

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #6

This week a new issue of Secret Invasion, the single greatest line-wide superhero crossover about aliens secretly infiltrating earth from a major publisher this millennium, was released. Which means it's time once again to examine an issue of Millennium, the single greatest line-wide superhero crossover about aliens secretly infiltrating earth from a major publisher last millennium.

The action opens in deep space, where Superman leads a very determined team of heroes. As you can see, this installment is entitled “Out.” In the next 22 pages, one of these heroes will indeed come out. I’m assuming it’s Hal Jordan. But let’s find out together, shall we?


So let’s see, it says here that the “hidden home world of the Manhunters has burst like a ripe melon in the violence of its war with the spaceborne heroes of the earth--”

What? We missed the whole thing? Last issue, these guys were setting out to find the Manhunter homeworld, and this issue we learn they’ve already located, fought and violently destroyed it? In a tie-in? Man, what a rip-off.

Note that the ultimate Manhunter, the mammoth Highmaster (not to be confused with the mammoth Master Mold) managed to escape Superman and company’s act of android genocide.

They’re in hot pursuit of this giant, yellow Manhunter, who suddenly blasts them and turns to face them shouting about how they had cost him “the fruit of three billion years” and that no man escapes the manhunters. (Hmm, if one were to devise a Millennium drinking game, in which you had to take a shot every time someone said “no man escapes the manhunters” in this thing, I wonder if one would merely be really drunk right now, or dead of alcohol poisining?)

The heroes brace themselves for the onslaught:
Man, I love that crazy googly-eyed zombie Lantern.

Using his “anti-green light,” the Highmaster traps everyone in space debris save Superman and the Martian Manhunter.

Superman arrogantly assesses the situation, while the Highmaster rolls out his forearm cannons
and blasts them so hard he disintegrates J’onn’s harness right off (Man up, Martian Manhunter!)

The Highmaster then seems to shrink out of existence, while ranting about how the Guardians will get theirs yet. Dr. Fate tries to pursue using “The Call of Vayu,” but it’s the wrong spell, and the heroes are thrown into some infernal locale where they all start dying. Dr. Fate transfers their life energies into Superman and Hal, who are the last two flying. They rush off to find the Guardians, probably in a tie-in.

Back on earth, the chosen are all passed out in the grass in their transcendental states, while the immortals look on. Herupa Hando Ho explains that they are experiencing visions of the unity permeating the universe and their united places in it.”

Joe Staton and Ian Gibson draw those visions out for us:

Okay, Gregorio dreams of being a…dendrite of some sort? Celia Windward sees an abstract space monster? Janwillem Kroef pictures himself as a fat Hitler? Takeo Yakata is a samurai business man? Floronic Man imagines just cold dancing in the grass, Tom Kalamaku dreams of being a Green Lantern and punching a fat alien tapir man in the ass during the oath recitation ceremony, Xiang Po dreams of a wicked skateboard design, and Betty Clawman dreams of squatting in the desert, just like she was doing when the Immortals first encountered her.

Outside of their skulls, Wonder Woman tries to strike up a conversation with Batman, and he bites her head off:
They’re still a long way away from being the BFFs they’ll become in JLoA about 20 years later. Of course, this is set in the post-Crisis continuity, in which Wonder Woman was still a recent arrival to America, and had just met Batman and the other heroes. I suppose this scene didn't even happen after Infinite Crisis's de-reboot of Wonder Woman continuity. So just ignore it.

Guy Gardner, still suffering from the bonk on the head that turned him into an incredibly nice, deferential guy, rings himself and Batman over to Booster Gold International, where Booster is waiting for them.

Booster downs Batman with a laser blast, punches Guy down a flight of stairs and then does this:
Wow. Booster Gold took out Guy Gardner and Batman! At the same time!

When the Chosen start to awaken, Tom finds his family anxiously waiting for him, and not too happy about his going all cosmic on them:
I like the look on his son’s face, when he realizes his dad must be on drugs. Just say no, dad!

Of course, as we've seen in previous issues, Nancy Reagan, proponent of the Just Say No campaign, is herself an evil Manhunter android, so perhaps just saying no to drugs is one of the Manhunters' schemes within schemes? Perhaps people of the '80s should have just said yes more often...?

Janwillem’s finally had enough of this “hippy hoorah,” particularly when he realizes that his consciousness is finally being unified with those of a bunch of filthy minorities.

He demands the Immortals stop or he’ll leave, to which Nadia responds, “Farewell!”

On the way out, Janwillem takes a moment to hurl a racial epithet at a big guy with a super wishing ring on his hand.
John Stewart responds by...
decking him with his power ring? Jeez John; can’t you use your own fist? You had to generate a giant ring construct fist to deck the fat old guy?

Finally, Floronic Man sneaks off to meet a Manhuner agent, as he was supposed to betray the Chosen to the Manhunters. Instead he betrays the Manhunters, opting to throw in fully with the Chosen and the Immortals. Rather than a double-agent, he's become a triple-agent. I think that's how that works.

As Floronic Man turns the captured Manhunter agent over to Batman and company for interrogation, Blue Beetle and Mister Miracle announce that they’ve figured out that the Manhunters must have a secret base at the center of the earth.

The heroes decide to strike there…next issue!



Previously:
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #1
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #2
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #3
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #4
The Other Secret Invasion: Millennium #5