Green Arrow, possessive a-hole

Earth is under threat from a series of strange disasters, and so then-chairman of the Justice League Green Lantern Hal Jordan summons the rest of the League, and then splits them up into teams to investigate.

Black Canary and Green Arrow join Batman in the cockpit of the Bat-plane, where GA is a little annoyed that everyone's not paying attention to him: What are they thinking about, that's so much more interesting than how happy GA is to be flying a plane again?

Well, here's what's on Batman's mind: The two kissed briefly on the JLA satellite a few adventures ago, before "the slashing sword of guilt" caused them to break their embrace and apologize profusely to one another.

Once they land, Black Canary tries to have a semi-private word with Batman, which Green Arrow—who has no idea the two ever kissed, or that Batman once had something of a crush on Canary—freaks out:
Green Arrow gives them a whole three panels before he starts yelling at them:And, after all that, he still borrows Batman's plane.


*************************
Panels originally from 1971's Justice League of America #88, drawn by Dick Dillin and Joe Giella and written by Mike Friedrich, although the above were scanned from the 2011 collection Showcase Presents: Justice League of America Vol. 5, which is awesome and DC should totally keep publishing future volumes of it until they hit 1987's Justice League of America #261.

MANITOU RAVEN

preferred the days when the only ice cream was mashed berries mixed with snow and fish oil.

Satellite Era Spotlight: Justice League of America #163

Remember in last month's Black Canary Wedding Planner, when the betrothed superhero duo were chatting with one another, and the name Anton Allegro came up?

I imagine that line of dialogue was a bit of a question mark for everyone, because if you did know who Allegro was, then you knew that not only had he reformed, but that he had died. And if you didn't know who Allegro was, well, then you didn't know who they were talking about at all.

Well, this is who they were talking about—


(He's the one summoning demons of destruction to slay the superheroes as alliteratively as possible. He's not actually ten feet tall, the perspective on this cover is just kinda crazy. Note all the lines drawing the eye towards Hawkgirls breasts though. This one must have flown off newstands).

Yes, Anton Allegro was the heavy in the Satellite Era classic that we're spotlighting tonight, Justice League of America #163 (1979); "Concert of the Damned," by Gerry Conway, Dick Dillin and Frank McLaughlin.

As villains go, he's kind of a lame one, but then, so are most League foes (Isn't it odd that, individually, the Justice Leaguers have tons of great villains, but when they band together, the only ones who step up to challenge them are goofballs like The Key, a space starfish and, well, Anton Allegro?).

Allegro has a shock of black mad scientist/mad composer hair, a diabolically pointed goatee and one of the worst costumes the human mind can conceive of. Its skin-tight black spadex, which he wears with a bowtie, mustard-colored pirate boots and gloves, and a huge purple cape which might have been kind of cool, if it weren't for the piano key fringe along the bottom.

His weapon of choice is a synthesizer, which is either so wicked awesome or which he plays so wicked awesome that its capable of, as he expalins on the cover, summoning demons of destruction capable of slaying superheroes. That's not quite as cool as a guitar that could do the same, but it is cooler than a fiddle, violin or a wind instrument, the sorts of weapons previous music-based supervillains used. It's kind of admirable that in '79 Conway was with it enough to give a music-based villain a synthesizer.

Less cool? His successor's 1985 application of the technology into a keytar:


(That guy actually took down Superman, Wonder Woman and Flash Barry Allen. The real Anton Allegro would give his life in a battle against the Soviets to save them.)

But who exactly is Anton Allegro and how did he come to be?

Why would he turn his crazy-powerful synthesizer on the Justice League in the first place?

This is all covered in "Concert of the Damned," which opens with a scene of Green Arrow walking into Oliver Queen's apartment through the front door:



GA is surprised to see someone lying in wait for him. Anton Allegro is apparently surprised to see Green Arrow at all, saying, "Frankly, I was expecting Oliver Queen-- But you, Green Arrow--you'll do quite nicely!!"

"Yes, I was expecting Oliver Queen. But you, Green Arrow, who look an awful lot like Oliver Queen, what with the blond handlebar moustache and weird pointy beard, and who seems to have a key to Oliver Queen's apartment for some reason--you'll do quite nicely!"

A.A. introduces himself, then his fingers, "darting with inuman speed" on the keyboard of "a bizarre electronic accordion," summon three primary colored monsters. The ghostly beasts shrug off GA's trick arrows, and lay him out with a "JAPOW" to the jaw.

Meanwhile, 22,300 miles above the Earth, the rest of the Justice League sit around a table, talking. They have a special guest with them, Zatanna's father Zatara, and the topic is a boring sub-plot from the issue in which the League battled The Shark and his dainty-handed monsters.

Zatanna summarizes:



"Spell of Amnesia," huh Z.? You might want to study that spell yourself. You never know when you might need to cast it upon a teammate who stumbled upon you and your co-conspirators in the act of magically lobotomizing a rapist.

Sudenly, a big red "BLEEEEEE" summons the team away from this Zatara family drama. It's the emergeny signal! On a monitor screen, the head of Black Canary informs the team that Ollie has been attacked. She's bandaged his whole head in gauze and laid him on the couch, and he seems stable, but someone has to go kick his attacker's ass. And that someone is the Justice League! They spring into action:



I love this panel. Not just because it looks like Superman has totally forgotten how to run (not as unlikely as you might think for guys who can fly) and is about to topple over, but because Batman's action pose is so dramatic. I can practically hear him shouting "Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Once the invincible champions of justice have gathered around the wounded Oliver Queen's couch, the bearded Leaguer recounts his first encounter with Anton Allegro.



After listening to him rant for five panels, Queen was beginning to suspect that A.A. was something of a nut, and was looking for a way to let him down easy, when he looked out the window and saw something that demanded his attention:



A group of men wearing strange uniforms were using a laser tank to rob a bank. These sorts of super-crimes always seem so weird to me. To rob a bank, you really only need a gun, or the threat of a gun. A tank seems a bit like overkill. And a laser tank? Where did they get it? Did they invent a laser gun and then mount it on to a customized tank? Did they build the tank themselves as well? It seems like if they had the skills necesarry to build something like that , there would be easier, more legal ways to make money than bank robbery. Hell, just sell the laser tank. I bet you could get a lot of money for one of those.

It's worth noting that by DCU standards, using a laser tank for a simple bank hold-up isn't really that big of a waste of fantastic technology. I mean, consider Flash's rogues gallery, with their freeze rays, weather controlling wands and Mirror Master's mastery of mirrors. Those guys could make millions working for the U.S. military. Mirror Master could completely revolutionize communication and travel. And yet they devote their genius and/or resources on pulling off the sorts of crimes that anyone with a blackjak and/or pistol could do just as easily.

So anyway, Ollie pushes Allegro out the door, promising him a check to tide him over, and, just before slamming the door on him, gives him some free advice: "Do yourself a favor--and get a job!"

Allegro curses him, but Ollie's mind is already elsewhere. That rampaging tank requires the attention of a man who can shoot arrows at it, so it's time for Green Arrow to appear on the scene:



Yes! I love Green Arrow costume changes! Look! He had his whole costume—boots, bow, quiver full of arrows and all—on underneath his business suit! And you couldn't even see a bulge or anything.

Also, look at what he's holding in his left hand, and what he's shrugging off his right shoulder. Apparently he was wearing two identitcal suit coats one on top of the other. I guess the offices in The Queen Building get pretty chilly.

And then, it happens.

Ollie fires a tuning-fork arrow he's been experimenting with to shake the tank to peices, and Allegro gets caught in the blast.



Now I know Ollie's the superhero here and Allegro's the supervillain of the piece, and that we're supposed to root for the former and hiss the latter, but, I've got to say, Allegro seems to have pretty good reason to hate Green Arrow, if not Oliver Queen.

I mean, he's walking out of a meeting, minding his own business, when a masked vigilante employs an experimental weapon against a tank in the middle of a crowded public street, a weapon that caused permanent, incurable deafness in Allegro, a musician, who's whole life is devoted to the production of beautiful sounds.

Naturally, Ollie felt bad about it, and paid Allegro's hospital bills and apparently kept sending him checks (until he lost his fortune), but Ollie insists that it was a "freak accident." An accident, sure, but c'mon Queen, no one put a gun to your head and made you shoot your experimental tuning-fork arrow at that laser tank.

So Superman picks the wounded Ollie up in his arms (revealing that Ollie is still wearing his quiver full of arrows on his back...which he'd been laying on. Man, Canary is the worst nurse!) and flies him up to the satellite to recvoer.

Green Lantern Hal Jordan power rings up a giant tuning fork , which is able to track the frequency of Allegro's music of madness. With his friends in a big green bubble, he swoops towards--



Wait, what? Massachusetts? Star City is in Massachusetts? Really? Really? I honestly had no idea. I always thought it was somewhere on the west coast, I think because I just assumed it must have been somwhere near Seattle, if that's where Ollie relocated to later. Massachusetts. Huh. Does that explain Ollie's liberalism then? Is he just your typical Massachusetts liberal? Or should I say Taxachusetts liberal? Eh? Eh? Hawkman knows what I'm talking about...

As for the last ten pages of the book, Allegro's music demons totally take out Green Lantern, Flash, Hawkgirl and Black Canary. Zatanna and Zatara have some boring conversations about why her costume keeps changing, and what's up with her mom. And Superman and Batman pull the old robot double trick on Allegro to save his hot ex-wife's life, which brings us to the blurb for the next issue, "Murder By Melody!"

I'm missing the next 19 issues of the series, so I have no idea what happens, but none of the Justice Leaguers seem to have been murdered, as they're all still around and available to have meetings in JLoA #183.

Satellite Era Spotlight: Justice League of America #142

Current Justice League writer Brad Meltzer and current writer of one-third of all DC books Geoff Johns have made it pretty obvious that they absolutely adore the Satellite Era of Justice League history, that time in the seventies and early eighties when the World's Greatest Heroes all hung out in a clubhouse 22,3000 miles above the planet earth, going over their charter, having meetings and electing chairpeople.

For those of us on the other side of 35, it can be hard to understand what was so great about red-and-black costume Elongated Manor why today's JLoA should resemble that era more closely than the Giffen/DeMatteis JLI Era or Grant Morrison Watchtower Era. In an effort to better understand the greatness of the Satellite Era, EDILW is going to spend some quality time with all of the JLoA comics of the preriod we could get our hands on—um, about a half-dozen a friend's boyfriend wanted to clean out of his closet—which leads into our newest feature: "Satellite Era Spotlight."

Up first, 1977's Justice League of America #142, "Return From Forever!", by Steve Englehart, Dick Dillin and Frank McLaughlin.



Dateline: The Atlantic Ocean, 80 miles off the coast of Georgia.

Aquaman has invited Elongated Man and The Atom to hangout and relax with him. The Atom’s awfully grumpy, about his superhero career…and his powers.



Yeah, Aquaman. It sure would suck to be like Batman or Green Arrow. Whichh reminds me, how are sales on your monthly going? Oh, what's that? You've been killed off and replaced in your own title?

Suddenly, they spot two dog-fighting space ships, and when one downs the other, Aquaman goes to investiage, and finds a telepathic alien by the name of Willow there.



“A woman--!” he exclaims. Oh yeah? What were your first two clues, Atlantean Ace?

It turns out that the other ship was piloted by a minion of The Construct, and the woman named Willow urges the heroes to take her to Atlantis, since the Construct rules the airwaves. They comply; meanwhile the ‘struct tells his origin to the minion that shot Willow down, apparently as punishment for his failure to finish her off. (I'm not sure what we did to deserve such a punishing amount of exposition).





In Atlantis, Aquaman greets then-king Vulko, who’s clearly in the best shape of his life at the moment.





But the (rather stupid-looking) Construct can find them even in Atlantis, and demands they give up the girl. Aquaman tells him where to go, and the Construct is surprised at the language. Is that really a strong epithet for an Atlantean? Actually, is that even an epithet? I don't think it qualifies, since he didn't actually call the Construct a name, but hurled a rude imperative sentence at him.




Willow breaks them up into groups, requesting the Atom act as her bodyguard. Aquaman’s a little surprised…and Atom's Napoleon complex kicks in.

(This isn't actually all that out of character for the Atom. He has quite a big chip on his tiny little shoulder. For example, his first impulse upon meeting a new recruit to the League is to stab them in the eye with a pencil.)




Say what Ralph? Aquaman, are you going to let that stand?




Attacked by the Construct's henchmen known as "Cannons," Willow reveals herself as “a Mistress of the Martial Arts,” which further hurts Ray’s feelings of inferiority. “I thought I was supposed to be protecting you, but t seems I was wrong! You chose me to go with you because you don’t need any protection!”

Meanwhile in Miami, Aquaman and Elongated Man find the city threatened by a death ray-emitting device, called the “Thanatron.” To deactivate it, Elongated man must first survive a barrage of strange sound effects…





Meanwhile, on the Justice League Satellite, Superman brags about his stamina, tells the others to sit this one out and rest up their poor little human bodies and even gives Wonder Woman a backhanded compliment:






Then Green Arrow calls him aside to talk about Wonder Woman:






Worried about this internal strife, Superman thinks about what it may mean for the future of the League as he and Wonder Woman speed toward Earth:



Well, perhaps you could quit being such a dick. Bossing her around, giving her the patronizing "Yeah, but you get to sit down" speech...


I really like this panel, where those sensitive souls Superman and Oliver Queen try to figure out what's wrong with Wonder Woman these days:



Supes' first thought is that it must be man trouble. I guess that's better than saying what surely must be his second thought, if that was his first: "Perhaps it's just her time of the month, G.A.! She'll be okay in a few days, I'm sure." And Green Arrow's just like, "Whatever; I think she' s just a total bitch." (The word "witch" being comic book code for "bitch." )


Meanwhile again, Willow and the Atom get attacked by the Construct himself, who has beamed his mind into the island they're on, building himself a body "composed of metallic ores rather than machine parts!".

The Atom simply shrinks to the size of a real Atom, too small for the Construct to attack him mentally, and jumps into his body. Inside the Construct's new body, he suddenly grows, which destroys the Construct for some reason:




“Bar-soom?” Isn’t that the name of a Star Wars character or planet? No, I’m not joking. Seriously. Doesn’t that sound familiar?

Anyway, it all ends happily, with the Atom getting over his short man's complex and scoring a kiss from Willow:



Eww. I don't know what it is exactly, but something about that image just grosses me the hell out. Trying to see it from Willow's perspective, kissing a tiny little member of the opposite sex—no matter how sexy—seems a little gross, as I'd be afraid to kiss their frail little head right off. And from the Atom's perspective, can you imagine those gigantic lips, as wide across as your own shoulders, wrapping themselves around your skull and coating your mask in a layer of saliva? Bleah!

The end.

Next up: The incredibly topical JLoA #147

Six Things I Learned From Justice League of America Hereby Elects...

1). Oliver Queen wears his whole Green Arrow costume under his clothes at all times—quiver, bow and all.



And he can't shoot an arrow, even to save a man's life, until his mask is affixed and he's wearing his hat.



2.) Between the time when she wore her magician's outfit and the time when she wore that ugly blue and white superheroine outfit with the thigh-high boots and lobster shell hairpiece, Zatanna briefly wore a passable costume



(There's no topping the top hat, tails and fishnets look, though)





3.) Visiting Atlantis must suck.



To get there, Superman just suddenly divebombs into the water with you, throwing his cape over your face, and then, next thing you know, Aquaman's slamming an upside down fishbowl over your head saying, "Welcome!"





4.) Green Arrow wants a black person on the team, Flash doesn't want a token black on the team.




Unfortunately, Ollie never gets around to explaining why the fact that B.L. is black is so exciting to him, nor does Barry get around to explaining why he's so opposed to Black Lightning joining on Ollie's say-so, since Black Lightning turns the League's eventual offer of membership down, saying he's more of the solo type.






(I'm sure it had nothing to do with the Justice Leaguers dressing up as supervillains and then beating the hell out of him to test his mettle.)






5.) Superman takes monitor duty very, very seriously.



Even if the entire world is in danger of being overrun by giant rats and he alone has the power to stop them, if he's on monitory duty, he refuses to leave his post. He'll just sit there and watch the stampeding giant rats on the monitor until it's time for Aquaman to spell him.





6.) Superman totally wants Black Canary.

Don't believe me? Check it out. He's willing to waive the normal League admission rules for Dinah...




But he freaks out at Hawkman over the "duplicating powers" clause of the League charter when Hawkman wants to let his wife join...



(And how does this whole "duplicating powers" thing work anyway? Hawkman's power is he can fly—but so can Superman and Green Lantern. And what about Green Arrow and Batman, don't they duplicate one another's lack of powers?)


As soon as her husband dies, he invites her back to his Earth, checking her out on the flight there...



(He's not even tryng to be subtle about checking her out either, is he?)



He built her a motorcycle for a present.



Sure, it's a really crappy looking motorcycle but, still—that shit's handmade.


And, perhaps most tellingly, he thinks about her almost as much as he thinks about Batman.