FIRE

finds eating ice cream problematic.

BOOSTER GOLD

likes to write letters to Ben & Jerry's corportate headquarters to see if they would be interested in producing a Booster Gold signature flavor.

Monday Morning Man vs. Cephalopod Moment

From Hitman #13 by Garth Ennis and John McCrea (DC; 1997)

Five Random Things, None of Which Really Deserve a Post of Their Own

1.) I’ve been reading a lot about the Punisher online this week. Mike Sterling at Progressive Ruin noted the decline in demand for the Punisher’s first appearance, once a sought after item. Tim O’Neil at The Hurting produced a pair of well-observed, sharply-written essays about the character’s rise in popularity, and inherent problems as a star of sequential superhero fiction. And Chris Sims at The Invincible Super-Blog? That guy’s always got something to say about The Punisher.

So when is somebody going to get around to addressing the Punisher-related subject that I am most interested in reading about?

You know, this:



I’d do it myself, but every time I get to the panel that suggests DC and Marvel editors decided to combine Wonder Woman’s male girlfriend Steve Trevor and Frank Castle into the same person, my brain shortcircuits and I lose consciousness for a few hours, facedown in a longbox full of Amalgam comics.



2.) The Beat has their monthly analysis of DC’s sales figures up for June, and even though I’m no longer reading Countdown, I find myself increasingly (and, admittedly, somewhat morbidly) fascinated in how it performs in the direct market.

Like 52, it’s a rather experimental project for a publisher like DC, albeit one that changed several important factors from the experiment of 52. While that series proved a somewhat surprising success, this one is so far something of a disappointment (and I’m just talking bout the sales here, not in terms of creative success or failure).

So now I find myself wondering if it will prove to be simply less-of-a-success-than-52, or a spectacular failure.

Here’s what The Beat has to say at the moment:

“…the publisher’s supposed big event series of the moment is finding its level relatively quickly. Which is damning with faint praise, of course, because sales aren’t desperately good to begin with for this sort of thing. The three previous issues made the chart again in June with reorders between 1,704 and 2,018 units, in fairness, but that’s due to the fact that June was a rather light month in terms of new releases. 70,000 units may not be a bad number for a book without superstar creators that’s largely starring C-list characters. But the yardstick for Countdown are other event titles, including and especially its predecessor 52. By that standard, Countdown has been a failure….”

But keep in mind, dislike it or hate it, Countdown was still DC’s third best-selling title in June, and in a few months time may be the company’s best-seller (The two ahead of it in June were Justice, which just ended, and JLoA, which only has one more Brad Meltzer-written issue to go, and while I can’t imagine why, his writing currently sells like gangbusters).

I’m pretty curious about how bad the book would have to do to constitute a failure, or to start losing money (I’d say to cancel it, but since it’s counting down to something, presumably Final Crisis, I guess cancellation is impossible).

The two lowest-selling, uncancelled DCU books are All-New Atom and Blue Beetle (DC, please take note next time you assign the name of an unpopular character/brand to an unknown new character to launch a new series. See also the cancelled Firestorm and Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis), which are selling in the mid-teens. Would Countdown have to do that, or is the bar set much, much higher due to the amount of production stress a weekly causes the publisher?

Also worth noting is the fact that Countdown’s latest issue up there still outsold Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps Special by tens of thousands of units. I can’t think of anyone who likes Countdown, save an anonymous poster or three at Newsarama, and I can’t think of anyone who had anything harsh to say about Sinestro Corps beyond it’s not all that new reader friendly, and yet the former is outselling the latter. By a lot.



3.) And speaking of Countdown, check out incoming editor Mike Carlin’s interview with Newsarama’s Matt Brady on the latest issue.

I don’t envy Carlin; he seems to have been brought in to replace Mike Marts almost immediately, although the change was presented as Marts going on to take a better assignment. Brady graciously didn’t push on that at all.

But when Brady sought a little clarification on the wonky timeline of Countdown—events that took hours in “Lightning Saga” taking days in Coutndown, events that took days in Amazons Attack taking weeks in Coutndown, Batman being in three places simultaneously, and so on—Carlin got pretty defensive.

Here’s one:


“MC: It's on the news later in the issue... you really should give things some minute-to-minute time to unfold, no? This is an age old problem in a shared universe, though, why doesn't Superman intervene in every issue of Blue Beetle or Birds of Prey or everywhere in all titles...

“Sometimes when all is said and done, you can piece your year of all DC publications-- and figure a kinda place for everything...or you can just relax and enjoy the comic you're reading!”


And here’s another:


“MC: These stories will criss-cross and meld to the end... at least the threads that don't end suddenly-- and tragically! Here's a way to look at Countdown... it's not 52. 52 covered a lost year— 52 literal weeks. Countdown is several stories that play out in their own time... not a year's worth in the DCU.

“Nothing that happens in the DCU happens in real time... Lois & Clark have known each other for maybe 8 or 9 years in real time-- but they've celebrated twenty Christmas issues since 1986 alone!

“If you think about it too much you will die!”


I’m all for not thinking about things like the passage of time in the DCU as it relates to the passage of time in real life myself, but Carlin seems to miss the point, which pretty much everyone in the comments section makes over and over. Time in the DCU still has to occur sequentially, and events still have to happen in relation to one another.

It’s fine that Countdown, Amazons Attack, Teen Titans and Wonder Woman all deal with the Amazons attack on Washington D.C., and it’s fine that one is a weekly and the others are monthlies. But whatever rate the books are released, the events they chronicle have to match up. It’s the same attack they’re all addressing. Does it take a matter of days or weeks or months?

DC’s done weekly events before, from the Superman books during the “Triangle Years” to virtually every line-wide crossover they’ve ever done, and I’ve never before seen these sorts of problems creeping in. I honestly don’t understand how they’re even happening. It’s not like, “Well, few of our readers remember that one time that one thing happened in that one book, so we’ll contradict it,” but “We have no idea what happened in those other three books, and it looks like we’re contradicting it here—in this book which exists solely to match up all the books in our line to one big cohesive story.”

Also weird: Carlin seems really against editorial boxes, which is something The Brave and the Bold and Action Comics both used this very week, or any other alternative strategy to helping readers sort out when to read what. Marvel publishes checklists—there was one in the back of World War Hulk #2 this week—and during the run-up to Infinite Crisis and during the event itself, DC’s homepage featured a weekly column summarizing events that fed into the mega-story and what books they appeared in, making it easy (or easier, anyway) to follow along. Why not do this with Countdown/Amazons Attack/Sinestro Corps?

I’m afraid I already know the answer—DC’s not so sure of what’s going on when in their universe themselves, and trying to draw a roadmap for readers would only underscore that fact.


4.) I am extremely, perhaps unreasonably, excited about the news that Dynamite Entertainment, Alex Ross and Jim Krueger will be producing a series starring such Golden Age characters as the original Daredevil and The Green Lama.



These are characters I’ve been fascinated with for as long as I’ve been interested in comic books, and yet I’ve never read a single story featuring any of them. Daredevil, who’s apparently being renamed, would always get mentioned in Jack Cole bios, and the Green Lama was among those characters whose name and brief sketch in comic book histories, price guides and encyclopedias would intrigue the hell out of me.

Of course, part of this fascination no doubt extends from the fact that I haven’t been able to read any of their stories, so I don’t know how lame or derivative they might be.

Seeing the historic difficulties companies have had in reintroducing old superheroes to today’s consumers—DC’s inability to ever make their Fawcett, Quality and Charlton acquisitions really fly, and DC/WildStorm’s similar attempt to sell old British heroes in Albion and Thudnerbolt Jaxon makes me wonder if maybe the Direct Market isn’t even interested in superhero comics so much as a dozen or so particular superheroes, whom they already get their fill of.

Still, Alex Ross. If anyone can sell anything in the direct market, it’s Ross.

Finally, there’s the whole legal/public domain side of the project. Interesting that Dyanamite can do what they like with these characters, but not, say, Superman and Mickey Mouse, you know?



5.) Finally, speaking of Golden Age heroes I’ve always been fascinated by but never actually read any stories featuring, here are some others I’d love to read comics starring:


Pat Parker, War Nurse



Catman and Kitten



Green Giant

and, of course,


The Zebra





UPDATE: Well, that was fast! According to Comic Book Resources, Image is also doing a project revolving around Golden Age superhero comics. One of them is Speed Comics, which is where Pat Parker, War Nurse stories appeared. In fact, that looks an awful lot like War Nurse on this image from the upcoming Image series, doesn't it?

GUY GARDNER

likes whatever Ted Kord is having.

MISTER MIRACLE

always gets ice cream on his mask.

Friday Night Fights: Special World War Hulk Edition

Blackbolt, Medusa and Iron Man couldn't stop the Hulk. A random assemblage of Avengers including such heavy hitters as Ms. Marvel, She-Hulk, Wonder Man and Ares couldn't stop the Hulk. The combined might of the entire Fantastic Four, even with Storm and Black Panther pitching in, couldn't stop the Hulk. Ant-Man sure as hell coulndn't stop the Hulk, and while I haven't read Ghost Rider, I'm pretty sure he couldn't stop the Hulk either.

Is there no one in the entire universe capable of stopping the Hulk?

No. No there's not.

Not in the Marvel Universe, anyway.

But the next universe over? The DC Universe? They've got some guys who can probably take the Hulk.

Guys like, oh, I don't know, maybe



Despite their residency in two different fictional universes, and the fact that they're both owned by different companies, the Man of Steel and the Jade Giant have traded blows on a couple of occassions, including one that didn't really kind of suck.

That would be 1999's The Incredible Hulk vs. Superman, a co-publication between Marvel and DC that was scripted by Roger Stern, penciled by Steve Rude and inked by Al Milgrom. It's fairly unique among intercompany crossovers in that it is really, really quite good, and almost totally unique among Marvel/DC crossovers in that it's so good.

It's been quite a while since the two companies have crossed-over (since 2003's JLA/Avengers, actually), but there were a few years after 1997's Marvel Vs. DC series where it seemed to happen enough to get totally boring. Batman and Spider-Man, Batman and Captain America, Batman and Spider-Man again, Batman and Daredevil, Batman and The Punisher, Batman's temporary replace Jean-Paul Valley and the Punisher. No one needed to read any of this.

Of course, it was the mediocrity of Green Lantern Kyle Rayner and Silver Surfer flying through space together or Superman teamimg up with the Fantastic Four that made the really good crossovers stand out, and chief among these were the JLA/Avengers story, which gets a million points for thoroughness (Kurt Busiek basically just found ways to have George Perez draw every single Avenger, every single Justice Leaguer vs. every single Avenger and Justice League villain ever, guest-starring everyone in both universes), and this Superman vs. Hulk comic.

While Stern's script does a good job of nailing the traditional Silver Age sounding character dynamics and dialogue of the Superman cast, without making it seem overly dated or kitschy, and he manages to weave the Hulk and his characers into the story in a coherent way, it's really Rude's book. He and Milgrom make this truly something special, as he draws the Hulk like the old, original Jack Kirby and company Hulk from the misunderstood monster's earliest adventures, and his Superman seems to have flown in from one of his own Fleischer cartoons.

This book doesn't simply go through the motions of blending the two franchises casts, it actually blends their aesthetics, and rather than featuring the characters as theyw ere currently appearing in their monthly comics, Rude, Stern and company chose high points in their existence during which to blend them (Why does this matter? Well, try re-reading DC vs. Marvel today; it's billed as "The Showdown of the Century," but it's hard to get past more than a page without wondering why Superman has a mullet and Namor a pony tail, or what Spider-Man is wearing, or where Aquaman's hand is, or just who the hell that weird-looking dude with Thor's hammer is supposed to be).

Also, Superman and the Hulk fight a couple of times. And it is totally awesome.

It's also the subject of this Friday's fisticuffs. That's right, it's Friday night, and that means it's time for Friday Night Fights. So enough talking, let's go to the scans for some hitting.

Remind me Stargirl, what round is it?



So it's afternoon in Arizona, and a hungry Hulk smells some barbecued chicken on the grill, and crashes the party, helping himself to a couple fistfulls of bird, when who should show up to insult the Hulk's table mannbers but our good friend...





The Hulk shrugs the Man of Steel off. And when the Hulk shrugs something off...



...he shrugs it off all the way into orbit! When Supes finds his way back to the scene of the brawl, the Hulk has already leapt away, their first fight ending in a draw.

A Thunderbolt Ross/Luthor team-up, a fake Hulk robot and a seemingly imperilled Betty Ross later, Superman catches up with the Hulk again...





I'm pretty sure that's the most painful panel I've ever read. My back hurts just looking at it.

Anyway, apparently inspired by being bounced off of every cactus in the county, and seeing Superman headed his way, Hulk does the most sensible thing to defend himself:



He stuffs his mouth with cactus spikes and spits them at Superman hard enough to put the Man of Steel on the defensive.

By this point, Superman's noticed that the Bad Hulk was really a robot wearing purple pants, while as the Good Hulk is clearly wearing blue pants. Clearly their conflict has been a big misunderstanding, and Superman would prefer to cease hostilities to discuss the matter.

Hulk would prefer to beat the crap out of Superman, however, so he attempts to commence with the smashing.

In mid-smash, however, General Ross orders a bombardment of the pair, and they crashland into a truck full of missles. After breifly outlining his opinion on the Cold War arms race in panel three, Hulk forgoes more cactus needles for heavier artillery in panel four, perhaps the greatest image of the entire book:



So Superman punches the Hulk through an army jeep and into a mountain, burying him under tons of rocks. That should be enough to stop the Hulk, right?



Apparently not. As the two titans grapple once again, Luthor convinces Ross to activate the Gamma Gun, a weapon designed by Bruce Banner that hurts them both long enough for the two heroes to compare notes and decide to join forces against Luthor and the U.S. military industrial complex.

So at the Hulk's request, Superman throws him at the Gamma Gun, which he proceeds to smash.

And thus ended the greatest battle between the Hulk and Superman ever. Who would have won if Superman weren't holding back so much there at the end, or if Luthor and Ross didn't cut their battle short with the Gamma Gun?

The world will probably never know (But it would have been Superman).

Sentry, I do hope you were taking notes.

FIRESTORM

can turn anything into ice cream.


Even Chemo.

July 19th's Meanwhile in Las Vegas...

This week's Las Vegas Weekly comics column takes a look at two recent comics with celebrities names above the titles, one of which isn't too bad



and one of which isn't too good

HAWKMAN

doesn't eat ice cream.

But he does encourage the criminal element of St. Roch to consume a lot of milkshakes.

Weekly Haul: July 18th

Action Comics #851 (DC Comics) One of the things that initially attracted me to Countdown was the promise of a storyline starring Daily Planet cub reporter Jimmy Olsen, a perfect Everyman character in the DCU, and a character whose potential hasn’t really been met much since the original Crisis (I do like Morrison and Quitely’s version of him in All-Star Superman quite a bit, though). Well, we know how well that’s turned out. That’s why this particular book, what with its above-the-logo “A Countdown Tie-In!” slug, came as such a relief. Kurt Busiek, the regular Superman writer and Action Comics fill-in-writer who’s actually written many more issues than the “regular” writing team, is handling the script, and he’s summarizing much of the Jimmy-gets-powers plotline and even redoing scenes from recent Countdowns, only here they’re much better drawn than in the original book.

The plot? Jimmy realizes he’s activating bizarre superpowers in times of stress, and contemplates putting them to use as an honest-to-God superhero, like his pal, Superman. Meanwhile, he’s assigned to tag along with Clark Kent, who’s covering a trial of the new Kryptonite Man (from “Up, Up and Away”). Also, there’s a green simian doing…something that seems to be gradually turning him into a green Titano-type threat. And we get a flashback to how Jimmy first got his Superman signal watch, and it involves a stroke of pure genius—giant, perpetually drunk Scottish robots. In kilts. It’s great, fun stuff; superhero comics at their best, really, in which continuity is a strength, not a weakness. Haven’t read a single issue of Coutndown? Never read “Up, Up and Away?” Don’t worry; you don’t really need to. (The mention of “Chris” is probably the only real stumbling block to this being perfectly self-contained, and it’s just a one-sentence aside).

The art comes courtesy of penciler Brad Walker and inker John Livesay. Walker’s unfortunately been in the position of doing a lot of drawing on books that make it hard not to compare him to other artists (He did the sequel to Villains United and some Superman fill-ins, for example), and while I’m still not quite used to his impossibly huge-chested Superman, he does quite well with all of the other characters, and his storytelling flows smoothly. And his apes? Awesome.

The only gripe I have about this book? It prominently features Superman and Jimmy on the cover. I think some giant drunken robots in kilts and a green gorilla would have moved more copies. Assuming everyone who enters a comic shop makes their purchases along the same criteria I do, anyway.




Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis #54 (DC) Remember last week when I was talking about Green Arrow: Year One, and I mentioned DC’s bad habit of putting lame-ass pun on the covers of their comics? This week’s Aquaman contains a good example. For absolutely no reason at all, above the logo are the words “Master of His Domain!” The story within has nothing to do with Aquaman’s domain, really; in fact this Aquaman isn’t a king and doesn’t really have a domain to master, and even if he did, most of the story takes place on the surface anyway. Now I’m not sure who comes up with these things, or why they thought an allusion to an old episode of Seinfeld (1990-1998, just to let you know how old the joke is) would be an amusing thing to put on the cover. But to do it on a cover in which Aquaman grasps the hilt of his sword, the blade between his legs, while a handful of mermaids look up at him, smirking, smiling and, in one case, pointing and laughing? They’re either lameo-s who don’t really pay much attention to the art on their covers, or they’re geniuses. Only they know for sure. Anyway, it’s a really nice cover by the Dodsons.

Inside the book, Tad Williams ratchets up the speed with which he’s winding the title down, so much so that I’m actually more excited about the title right now than I’ve been so far. There are a ton of supporting characters and villains from the last few years of Aquaman comics, including a surprise DCU Big Bad and the Human Flying Fish, whose little flapping wings are absolutely hilarious as rendered by Shawn McManus.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, at this point it’s probably best for DC to let the Aquaman franchise lay fallow for a few years until they can figure out what exactly they want to do with it (hint: involving Aquaman himself might be a good idea, since replacing an original character with a new version hasn’t worked since Wally West became the Flash), but Williams and McManus have been doing great work here, and I wouldn’t mind seeing more Aquaman stories from them somewhere down the road. When you consider the incredible mess Williams is cleaning up here, and the restrictions he’s working under (i.e. he can’t use Aquaman himself), it’s even more impressive that this book is readable, let alone sometimes pretty enjoyable.




Avengers: The Initiative #4 (Marvel Comics) Thus far, I’ve read exactly two “World War Hulk” books—World War Hulk #1 and the last issue of Irredeemable Ant-Man. So I may not be the best judge of how well this book ties into the tapestry of the multi-book event, but as far as I can tell, it’s a really good tie-in, as it shows us events from the first issue of WWH (Iron Man vs. the Hulk, the collapse of Avengers Tower), from different perspectives, giving us a few new background scenes along the way (like War Machine having a pre-loin-girding chat with Iron Man), without contradicting the events I’ve seen in other books (the way a lot of “Civil War” tie-in books did). Dan Slott is really great at this kind of thing; you can tell he knows and loves the Marvel Universe, its characters and history, and respects and builds on them when telling his stories. I mean, he even has Rage telling off Triathalon about who has Avengers seniority on the team. Anyway, the story finds the Initiative reacting to Hulk’s initial threat, with the Rage, Slapstick and the new kids assigned tasks like crowd control, although they eventually break rank to confront the Hulk. His over-arching storyline isn’t hijacked so much by the crossover as it dovetails into it, as pieces are moved forward in several ongoing plotlines. There are times when I wish Slott were writing the whole Marvel Universe (at least until I remember Jeff Parker. And Fred Van Lente. And Bendis when he’s on. And…)




Birds of Prey #108 (DC) Okay, so on the cover we have a woman with a grievous leg wound straddling a woman who has lost the use of her legs. They both wear glasses, and are heavily exerting themselves. I’m not sure what the name of this particular sort of thing might be, but I’m positive it has to be fetish for someone. Kind of odd choice for a cover image too, considering the awesomeness inside, but maybe they wanted to keep that four-page spread of every character who’s ever worked for Oracle ever (outside the Suicide Squad and Bat clan, of course) a surprise. A surprise that I’ve just ruined.

The story, like that in Aquaman is in pretty clear winding down mode. This issue is the official epilogue of the “Whitewater” story, and ends the Katarina take-over storyline that’s been running since the OYL jump. Plus, there’s a two-page send off to the Secret Six, and the true origin of Misfit. It’s a pretty good read, provided you don’t think about it very hard. Or, you know, think about it at all.

The recently resurrected, big-time superhero Ice gets a one-line send off, and appears in all of two-panels, completing her resurrection story on the same not on which it began, making her merely the maguffin (I’m hard pressed to think of a superhero-returns-from-the-grave story in which the superhero returning from the grave is so incidental to the rest of the story).

Oracle and her girls seem a little wantonly cruel in their dispatch of Katarina—was that a fair fight? Did they tie, or did Babs win? Was it just an excuse to beat the hell out of Katarina, who really did seem to have her heart in the right place and had even just presented Oracle with a gift prior to Manhunter wounding her?

Was that awesome group shot of all of the Birds ever really that intimidating to Katarina? Because, she had to know Oracle had all those people on speed dial anyway, right? Wasn’t that the whole point of attempting to take over the operation?

And while it’s not entirely Simone’s fault, Oracle’s whole speech about how her mission is to help people who need it rang a little false when one considers how little—i.e. absolutely nothing—she’s done to help her former agent and successor Cassandra Cain.

That probably does seem like a lot of griping, but I actually did rather enjoy this issue, and it’s only know that I’m thinking more seriously about it and rereading some of the scenes that some of this stuff occurs to me.

Okay now, question time: Who are those three super-types between Nightwing and Misfit? Anyone? Anyone? Because I have no idea.




The Brave and the Bold #5 (DC) See, this is why we love George Perez. In JLoA #8 by Brad Meltzer and Shane Davis, Batman fights Legion martial artist Karate Kid. The fight itself gets six panels, spread across six pages, with most of the blows that are exchanged occurring off-panel. In Countdown #50, by a trio of writers and penciler J. Calafiore, we see outtakes from that same fight (um, never mind the fact that Karate Kid’s ethnicity seems to have changed; it’s still the same character). There the fight gets thirteen panels over the course of three pages, most of them close-ups on Batman’s fists and K.K.’s open hands, with the pair apparently ultimately blocking one another’s blows. The effect is not unlike a fight in an action movie in the Michael Bay style, in which the camera zooms in on details, so that it is the point-of-view that we see moving, not the combatants.

In this issue of Brave and the Bold, writer Mark Waid and George Perez give us another Batman vs. Karate Kid fight. This one gets 12 panels on one single page, and, to stick with the film metaphor, consists mostly of medium shots, so that we can see the combatants bodies, and the way they move, like in an old school kung fu movie, where the camera is set down in one place and the characters fight, because watching people who know kung fu fight one another is a hell of a lot more interesting than watching a zoom lens in use. Perez’s fight choreography is simply amazing here, as one blow leads deftly to another. Oh, and because watching Batman and Karate Kid kung fu fight is merely awesome, Waid and Perez have outfitted them both with Legion flight rings, so that they’re flying while fighting, making the fight super-awesome (Seriously, panels seven thorugh nine? The greatest thing you’ll see in a comic book this week. Maybe your whole life).

And keep in mind, this is only one page of Brave and the Bold #5.

As with the previous four issues, this one seems to be at least twice as long as a normal comic book, in part because of just how damn much Perez can pack into a page, and in part because there’s just plain a lot of things going on, with the book structured as a sort of team-up between team-ups. In the future, you have Batman and the Legion of Super-Heroes (Waid/Kitson variety), and in the “present” you have Supergirl and Green Lantern and Adam Strange.

Both threads, which seem to be tying together now for next issue’s conclusion to the arc, are well-done, and both are imaginatively conceived. Waid isn’t going the easy route here, picking characters that play off of one another intuitively. He’s being plenty creative—I mean, Batman and the Legion of Super-Heroes? That’s about as out-of-left field a team-up as you can get in the DCU, and it works beautifully. Brainy and Bats are simply perfect foils for one another. As far as in-continuity, DCU books go, this is probably DC’s very best (along with Busiek’s better Super-books).




Giant-Size Marvel Adventures Avengers #1 (Marvel) I loved Jeff Parker and Leonard Kirk’s Agents of Atlas. And I love Parker and Kirk’s Marvel Adventures Avengers. So it should go without saying that a Marvel Adventures Avengers/Agents of Atlas crossover, by Parker and Kirk, is the kind of comic book I’m going to love. But I’m going to say it anyway: I loved this comic book.

Kang travels back in time to urge the “Avengers” of the ‘50s, Jimmy Woo’s Agents of Atlas, to find Captain America frozen in a block of ice. They thaw him out instead of Iron Man and company, leading to an altered present in which Kang is about to be made ruler of the world. Unless the Avengers can go back in time and stop him. And since these stories are all done-in-ones, it probably won’t surprise you to find out they do. It’s not the end point that’s interesting here though, it’s the way we get there, and how Gorilla Man and Wolverine get along.

Sweetening the deal are two classic (that is, “old”) Golden Age stories of the first appearance of Namora and Venus. Neither are very good reads (or are credited to any writers or artists in particular), but they are kind of interesting. I dig Namor’s old costume, and the crazy perspectives and strange lettering of Namora’s story, and Venus’ story seems like a Golden Age precursor to a magical girl shojo. And while I’ve never worked within the magazine industry proper in any capacity beyond doing a few interviews and writing a few articles in my underwear in my apartment and emailing them to editors, I’m pretty sure it can’t possibly be as insane as those last two pages of this story imply that it is. Imagine the office politics parts of 13 Going on 30 or The Devil Wears Prada fused with Golden Age Wonder Woman stories (with all the superhero/action-adventure bits sucked out) and you’ll have a pretty good idea how crazy this story is. (Any Marvel writers in the reading audience can feel free to pitch your contacts at the House of Ideas a new Venus miniseries that’s The Devil Wears Prada-meets-Wonder Woman. I don’t mind).




Shazam!: The Monster Society of Evil #4 (DC) As excited as I was to read this story, it was also incredibly depressing. With this issue done, we’re back to the only Captain Marvel stories on the stands being those produced by Judd Winick in Trials of…, which is a farther departure from the Marvel mythos than most Elseworlds featuring the characters, and Countdown, in which we can see a buxom, tarted-up Mary Marvel in black leather being all, I believe the term is, “ebil.” Jeff Smith brings his miniseries to a conclusion, one which promises the potential for future adventures, but if there’s more Smith Shazam to come, it’s not been announced, or even rumored. I was kind of surprised, and even a little disappointed, at Smith’s version of Mr. Mind. He looks pretty cool, and retains his size and radio (sorta), but the current DCU version (pre-cocoon) designed by Jerry Ordaway is actually superior; he kept the eyeglasses-like look by giving his Mr. Mind bulging wide eyes, for a character that was evil, but silly evil. Smith’s Mind just looks evil, and the revelation that he’s just a worm doesn’t really seem a surprise to anyone, as it was at the end of the original “Monster Society” epic. Speaking of which, I still want a new trade collection, DC.




The Spirit #8 (DC) Darwyn Cooke cooks up a brilliant set-up for this issue’s adventure, one which leads to some tense suspense and some great comedy. I just hope I’ll be able to look at the Spirit again someday without thinking of him as “Mr. Sexypants.”





Super-Villain Team-Up/M.O.D.O.K.’s 11 #1 (Marvel) Marvel makes it’s first real attempt to capitalize on M.O.D.O.K.’s newfound, unexpected and yet irresistible popularity among fans, a popularity owed entirely to the Internet and comics blogs (You’re welcome, Marvel). Will it prove a success? Honestly, I don’t see how it couldn’t. You’ve got Fred Van Lente, who, in addition to a lot of Marvel work I haven’t read, has given the world Action Phiolosophers! (Thanks, Fred!). You’ve got Eric Powell on the cover. You’ve got an Ocean’s Eleven/heist flick homage/parody thing going. And, just in case a giant-headed, acronym-named, kind of a dick, crazy-ass Marvel villain isn’t enough of a draw, you’ve got what I presume must be ten or eleven more crazy-ass Marvel characters, including in this issue The Armadillo, Mentallo, Puma, Spot, Living Laser and Rocket freaking Racer.

The actual plot, whatever it is, has yet to begin. Van Lente hasn’t gotten to the mastermind-lays-out-the-heist-plan portion yet, with this issue focusing on introducing several of the players and gathering them together. The art come courtesy of Francis Portela and Terry Pallot. I wouldn’t have minded a more cartoony take, given the inherent silliness of the characters involved, but Portela’s more representational style works well too, contrasting that silliness with the real world that makes it silly.





Ultimate Spider-Man #111 (Marvel) Wow, it’s quite a week for Spot fans. Not only does he appear in Super-Villain Team-Up, but the Ultimate version of the character makes his first appearance in USM. While it was nice to see him there, and an interesting use of him (appearing, but in a story that doesn’t actually have anything to do with him), Brian Michael Bendis’ attempts to make him seem a little less lame, explaining the character’s powers as scientifically as possible, describing his look as a sort of human lava lamp, with the spots moving all over him, seems to dampen the stupid, stupid appeal of the character—he’s essentially a cartoon character, covered in “portable holes.”

Of course, Ultimate Spot isn’t the focus of this issue, a long, emotional, well-written conversation between Aunt May and Peter Parker about his double-life as Spider-Man. I think Bendis absolutely nailed it, and I find it fascinating that he had her discover the secret so early in this Spider-Man’s fictional carrer (Relatively speaking, of course; we are past the 100 issue mark now, but the “616” Spider-Man kept his Aunt May in the dark, for, what, almost 40 years?). I think this book has long been Bendis at his very best, and this issue struck me as one of his better ones in recent memory, returning to the relationships between two of the core characters after several arcs focusing on guest-stars. I actually started to tear up a little when May gave Peter her answer as to whether he should leave her house or not, and Bendis perfectly nailed both the appeal and the tragedy of working at a newspaper in a few sentences, the latter in Peter’s mention of “[I]t’s this hub of information for me. Anything going on in the city…anything. And the paper knows about it in two seconds,” and the latter in “[A]nd smart people arguing about morals and ethics and integrity that most of them feel they have to not live by, or the paper will fold.” That’s pretty much the plight of the American newspaper at the dawn of the 21st century, right there. It’s really issues like this that make me wish Bendis would dump half of his titles to focus on two or three. I for one wouldn’t mind someone else writing his Avengers books and Marvel’s Halo tie-in if it meant USM could always be this good, and Bendis could pump out another monthly book just as could.

Actually, the May/Peter conversation isn’t the most important thing about this particular ssue either. No, after 110 issues, this is Mark Bagley’s last as penciler. I’m really sorry to see him go, and would prefer he just stay on this title for, you know, ever, but at the same time I could understand his desire to never have to draw Peter Parker’s hair again his whole life. His replacement is Stuart Immonen, whose chameleonic style has made it hard for me to decide how good a fit he’ll be. I didn’t like his Ultimate X-Men one bit, for example, but loved his Nextwave. Marvel eases him in, here, as Bagley draws the May/Peter scenes, while a flashback to a Spider-Man/Spot fight is drawn by Immonen. He certainly seems to nail Peter, but I don’t think he’s quite gotten Spidey yet. His Spider-Man looks like full-grown adult Spidey, whereas Bagley’s always had a kind of extra boulbous head and skinny little build thing going on.





World War Hulk #2 (Marvel) I found myself thinking a lot about two particular things I’ve read on the Internet this week in between the panels of World War Hulk. The first was Brian Cronin’s Comics Should Be Good post abouthow Chuck Austen’s writing style presaged the way both Marvel and DC have started seeing most of their big stories written*. And the other was this must-read post from Tom Brevoort about Mark Millar’s initial pitch for Civil War, complete with notes from Brevoort and Joe Quesada**.

Reading them both back to back, it seems pretty clear that Millar’s Civil War was at least formulated using Cronin’s formula attributed to Austen, that of “I want C (plot) to happen, and I want B (inciting incident) to be the cause, and I will change A (character) however I have to make that happen.” Millar’s pitch is full of things like, “a friend of Speedball’s” or “some hero, maybe Speedball” and “Happy Hogan’s son, if he has one.” And that what Millar had initially envisioned was meant to be totally awesome, not “Cap surfing on a jet” awesome, but awesome-awesome: “We also have some great set-pieces like Iron Man, Giant Man and so on capturing and taking down guys like the Ghost Rider,” Millar writes. “This should be shameless; every trick in the book. It should be a fan-boy orgasm and we should love every minute of it…”

Looking back, I don’t remember any great set-pieces in Civil War, and of the only real “Holy Shit!!!” moments I can think of in the series proper, it seems one was a fake out (Thor’s back…and he’s pissed!) and the other was, according to this, Brevoort’s suggestion (Spidey publicly unmasking).

What’s this have to do with World War Hulk? Well, thus far, this is a series that is actually delivering all those shameless, “fan-boy orgasm” moments. In just this issue, there are several times where writer Greg Pak and penciler John Romita Jr. give up splash pages and/or panels to big moments of Marvel characters doing big, impressive things, iconic-looking panels you can just drink in while the eight-year-old in the back of your head gasps with delight. Dr. Strange getting a full page to cast a spell, Hulk pounding the pavement on the very next page, The Thing and Hulk trading punches, the Human Torch going nova on the Hulk, and two whole pages of General Ross posing in front of a New York sky full of helicopters.

And yet, Pak isn’t just changing characters to make the plot happen as he wants. If the Hulk we know and love, be it from reading comics featuring him for decades or if this is our second Hulk comic, really came to New York threatening to pulp a cadre of big Marvel heroes, and anyone who stood in his way, wouldn’t Rick Jones show up to try to talk sense to the Hulk? Wouldn’t She-Hulk try to make peace? Yes, yes they would. Pak knows that, and he puts it all in there.

Even his Hulk, who seems to have sufficient motivation to want to do all this smashing, here seems to be given further motivation. Listening to the way several of his Warbound cut him off and seem to speak for him, one wonders how much he’s being peer-pressured into some of this stuff.

Anyway, this is all just a roundabout way of saying that World War Hulk seems to be Civil War done right. Giving us the Marvels at their most Marvelous, beating the crap out of each other, and doing so in a way that respects them as characters and doesn’t pretend to need a fig-leaf of real world relevance in an attempt to make us feel less-guilty for enjoying a supposedly “guilty” pleasure (You’ll notice a lack of mentions to post-9/11 politics and the liberty vs. security debate in Millar’s pitch).






*And I should note that I’ve actually read very few Austen comics. I quit his “Pain of the Gods” JLA arc halfway through, one of only three times I’ve dropped a Justice League ongoing, and I read a few issues of his Action Comics run, which I didn’t like much, and some of his X-Men in trade, which didn’t seem any worse to me than a lot of the X-Men comics I’ve read in trades. So I can’t personally vouch for how accurate the theory presented at CSBG is regarding Austen acting as forerunner to stuff like Amazons Attack and Civil War, but the event/story-creation-as-math-equation part seems dead-on, whatever the origin.


**About which I’d just like to say that Millar’s impulses all seem to be good ones (even the Hulk Babies which, would be a neat visual and tough challenge for our heroes, although the thought of Hulk sleeping his way through an alien harem seems fine for Ultimate Hulk, for whom his unleashed Id is sometimes manifested in a sexual way, but very, very wrong for our Hulk), and the story sounds a lot better at the pitch stage than it turned out. There are plenty of scenes described within that never materialized in the miniseries itself, and Millar’s pitch seemed to be a much longer, more action-packed tale than the one we got. I can’t help but wonder how much an artist who was both fast and good, like, say, John Romita Jr. or Mark Bagley, and/or an accelerated publishing schedule (12 issues bi-weekly, for example) would have helped the book.

RED ARROW

likes strawberry ice cream (although it's usually half-melted by the time he gets to it, on account of his heroic efforts to keep Lian's ice cream off her face, hands and Osh Koshes).

Marvel's October previews reviewed

And now, it's Marvel's turn. You can see their October solicits here, and you can find my reactions here.





The advent of HeroClix has pretty much ruined the villain-playing-chess-with-other-characters comic book cover forever, huh?




ESSENTIAL WEREWOLF BY NIGHT VOL. 2 TPB Written by DOUG MOENCH, DON PERLIN & BILL MANTLO. Penciled by DON PERLIN, VIRGIL REDONDO, YONG MONTANO & FRANK ROBBINS. Cover by GIL KANE. Jack Russell's struggles against his long-time curse pale before his determination to save his beloved sister from a similar doom! Vicious vigilantism, muscled madmen and intergalactic intrigue highlight the second volume of one of the seventies' strangest sagas! Fear, fate and family – Werewolf style! Guest-starring the Frankenstein Monster, Morbius and others from Marvel's Legion of Monsters! Collecting WEREWOLF BY NIGHT #21-43, GIANT-SIZE WEREWOLF #2-5, MARVEL PREMIERE #28.

Yes!

Um, that’s all I have to say about this. Just “Yes!” Which I’ve now said. So we can move on.




Seeing this shitty cover for Fantastic Four #551 reminded me that I didn't see a single Michael Turner cover in yesterday's DC solicits. Turner if finally off JLoA covers! That means I'm only reading one book which will continue to be marred by his bad and getting worse covers every month! And this one, well, it's another Michael Turner cover, isn't it? I guess it's nice to see that the FF have finally gotten out of that burning building they've been posing in for most of Turner's run on covers. Now they seem to be hanging out in...a time warp? A dance club? A screensaver?




HOWARD THE DUCK #1 (of 4) Written by TY TEMPLETON. Pencils & Cover by JUAN BOBILLO. Grab your guns and camcorders and start shooting, it's DUCK SEASON! Marvel's favorite furious fowl, Howard, and his faithful friend with benefits, Beverly, begin their journey to destroy the internet, radio and television, in this all new mini-series by Ty (She-Hulk) Templeton and Juan (She-Hulk) Bobillo. SEE Howard face mighty hunters with mighty guns on MeTube! SEE Beverly in nothing but fig leaves! SEE grown men dressed as bunnies! And who is that giant headed guy taking A.I.M. at our heroes? HINT: It starts with "MODO—" Just when you thought it was safe to read comics again…and Marvel has to do THIS?!?

I kinda wish Templeton was drawing this as well as writing it, as I really like his art but rarely get to see it, but this sure looks like a lot of fun.




IMMORTAL IRON FIST VOL. 1: THE LAST IRON FIST STORY TPB Written by ED BRUBAKER & MATT FRACTION. Penciled by DAVID AJA & TRAVEL FOREMAN. Cover by DAVID AJA_Many years ago, in the mystical city of Kun’ Lun, young Danny Rand stared at a suit behind glass -- the garb of the "Immortal Iron Fist” -- and knew that he was destined to wear it. But where did this costume come from? Why did it wait for Danny all those years like a shadow of his future? The answer to those questions will stun both him and his readers, as Danny Rand leaps from the pages of his breakout hit in DAREDEVIL to his own history-spanning kung-fu epic that will shatter every perception of what it means to be the Immortal Iron Fist! Brought to you by top-ten writer Ed Brubaker and breakout talent Matt Fraction (PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL), with action-packed art by David Aja (DAREDEVIL, GIANT-SIZE WOLVERINE). Collectng IMMORTAL IRON FIST #1-6.

Man, I cannot wait for this book. I dropped the monthly three issues in because, ironically, the art was just too good (It launched during the last quarter of last year, back when Marvel was putting ads opposite almost every single art page). I loved what I saw though, and have been literally counting the weeks until this thing came out.





MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #17 Written by TY TEMPLETON. Penciled by RONAN CLIQUET. Cover by TOM GRUMMETT. Ok, you’re a super hero. And you’ve got to fight a robot. But while the robot can punch and blast you with lasers, YOU can’t touch him. That’s a problem, right? That’s what the Avengers are up against when they encounter THE VISION!

If you’re older than ten, the main reason to read this title is writer Jeff Parker…who doesn’t seem to be writing this issue. Damn. Still, Templeton’s no slouch himself.



Man, Namor is pissed at those fish!



NEW AVENGERS #35 Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS. Pencils & Cover by LEINIL FRANCIS YU. The Hood makes his play for the big time by gathering the most ruthless rogues gallery of evil the Marvel Universe has ever seen. What does a guy who wants to be the “Kingpin of all super-villains” do to make his point? You have to see it to believe it. Guest-Starring Tigra. Poor Tigra. Poor, poor Tigra.

Hey, have an army of Venom-like symbiotes ever taken over all of the Marvel heroes, at least the more popular ones, like Wolverine? Because that seems like something they would have done in the early ‘90s. And if not, they should have.





This is the last issue of the less-than-impressive New Avengers/Transformers crossover series, and it's the first one with a nice cover. The other three are pretty uninspired and, in at least one case, featured a one of the worst drawings of Wolverine I'd ever seen.




OMEGA: THE UNKNOWN #1 (of 10) Written by JONATHAN LETHEM with KARL RUSNAK. Art by FAREL DALRYMPLE & PAUL HORNSCHEMEIER. The story of a mute, reluctant superhero from another planet, and the earthly teenager with whom he shares a strange destiny -- and the legion of robots and nanoviruses that have been sent from afar to hunt the two of them down. Created in 1975 by Steve Gerber and Mary Skrenes, the original Omega The Unknown lasted only ten issues but was a legend to those who recall it -- an ahead-of-its-time tale of an anti-hero, inflected with brilliant ambiguity. One of Omega's teenage fans was award-winning novelist Jonathan Lethem, who has used the original as a springboard for a superbly strange, funny, and moving graphic novel in ten chapters.

I fairly recently read the original series, and was pretty blown away by it. It was a book far, far, far ahead of it’s time, and I would heartily recommend anyone check it out—even though the current trade collection of it is kinda overpriced (Or maybe I’m just used to reading Marvel Comics from the ‘70s in cheap Essential editions).

That said, I’m really looking forward to this version, particularly because of the art team, which consists of two artists one wouldn’t imagine working for Marvel, particularly on a superhero book.

As for the writing credits, I’ve never read one of Lethem’s novels (I did read a prose essay of his in Give Our Regards to the Atomsmashers! ), but then, writing good prose and writing good comics are two entirely different things. Having suffered through eight issues of Brad Meltzer’s JLoA and one issue of Jodi Picoult’s Wonder Woman, I’m pretty confident I’ve read the absolute worst work novelists can do in comics, and that even if Lethem proves totally awful, this book should still prove more readable than JLoA and WW.

I find the last bit of the solicit particularly interesting, the "graphic novel in ten chapters" part. Obviously, the Big Two have been creating their monthlies for the trade for years now, but it's generally something nobody ever admits (or, to use a less charged term, talks about). But here they're openly advertising the fact that this thing is being written for the trade, it will be a trade, so you might as well wait ten more months—you've waited this long, haven't you?—and you can read it all in one sitting, sans dumb-ass ads for Spider-Man fishing rods and Old Spice fellatio.






PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #12 Written by MATT FRACTION. Pencils & Cover by ARIEL OLIVETTI. With WORLD WAR HULK in full swing and New York shut off from the outside world, who's left to protect those left behind? Frank @#$%!@!* Castle, that's who -- and he's none too thrilled. As the insatiable MUNG THE INCONCEIVABLE rampages through lower Manhattan, Frank and Clarke help a small band of refugees hold back his relentless onslaught. The Punisher? World War Hulk? Alien Invasion, Manhattan in ruins? This is the book Ariel Olivetti was born to draw.

I became disenchanted with this title pretty quickly. Olivetti’s art is nice, but lacked much in the way of detail or imagination, and Marvel and/or Fraction did a pretty piss-poor job of making those first few issues match up with Civil War, which is kind of important when the stories they were telling were Civil War tie-ins. Even still, Punisher vs. the Hulk? That sounds so stupid I don’t think I’ll be able to not buy this issue.



SPIDER-MAN AND THE FANTASTIC FOUR: SILVER RAGE TPB Written by JEFF PARKER. Penciled by MIKE WIERINGO. Cover by MIKE WIERINGO. Two great tastes that taste great together! The world's greatest super hero and the world's greatest super team collide for an adventure set nowhere near a Civil War (and upon which we will not put a CIVIL WAR tie-in label)! After a visit by the Impossible Man, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is faced with a dangerous new alien threat for which he has only one recourse...call in the Fantastic Four. Separately, Spidey and the FF are the foundation of the Marvel Universe. Together...they just may save it! Collecting SPIDER-MAN/FANTASTIC FOUR #1-4.

This miniseries has been a ton of fun, and if you missed out, this trade looks great—it’s only $10.99! Man, I kinda wish I would have missed out now, just so I could get the affordably priced trade.






If this cover had Red Sonja reclining on the hood of a sports car and Wolverine playing electric guitar in the background, it would be absolutely perfect. Still, Venom with a sword is certainly a good start.





SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN #41 Written by J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI. Pencils & 50/50. Cover by JOE QUESADA. 50/50 Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC. “ONE MORE DAY” Part 3. The most-talked about – and controversial – comic event of the year continues, brought to you by J. Michael Straczynski and Joe Quesada! Brace yourself, Spidey fans, after this, nothing will be the same for Peter Parker! The stakes have never been higher. At his darkest hours – and he's had plenty – Peter has always had one shoulder to lean on, one person who'd remind him who he is, who he was, and who he can be. Now he's about to lose that person. What would he do...what would you do, if you only had "One More Day?"

I think a comic book has to actually be released before it can be considered the “most-talked about” and/or “most…controversial.” It’s true I’ve heard some talk about the “One More Day,” storyline, but certainly not as much as, say Countdown or World War Hulk. And most controversial? It’s got a looooong way to go if it wants to take that crown from Heroes For Hire #13, the one with the tentacle rape cover, which I don’t think has come out yet either.

And speaking of covers, I don’t think Quesada’s really the best guy to be handling these covers. His artwork just doesn’t really match up to the old school, classic Marvel aesthetic that the layout and the text evoke. Wouldn’t John Romita Sr., who recently did a Daredevil cover, or John Romita Jr., or maybe Mike Allred been a better choice for covers?




You know what would be awesome? If the Thing fought a bear. You know what would be even more awesome? If it could maybe be some kind of monster, Frankenstein-looking bear. I've been resisting my curiosity about Mike Carey's UFF for a while now, thinking I'll maybe check it out in trade some day, but I don't know—Ben Grimm vs. a Monster Frankenstein Bear sure looks like it will be worth $2.99, doesn't it?




ULTIMATE POWER #9 (of 9)
Written by JEPH LOEB
Pencils & Cover by GREG LAND
The final chapter in this lauded limited series finds the two teams—the Ultimates and the Squadron Supreme poised for the cataclysmic climax that will decide the fate of two worlds! And the ending is more than mortal minds can imagine!

Three things. One, is this series seriously “lauded?” Because I can’t recall ever seeing anyone anywhere saying anything remotely nice about it, and I do kinda make a habit of searching the Internets for people talking about comics. Two, Ultimate Wasp is fucking Asian! This is, like, the third time I’ve seen her looking all Caucasian in a Land drawing of her. Three, am I the only one who doesn’t like to see the word “climax” right below a Land image?




WORLD WAR HULK #5 (of 5) Written by GREG PAK. Pencils by JOHN ROMITA JR. Cover by DAVID FINCH. ariant Cover by JOHN ROMITA JR. The millennium's most massive Marvel smashfest careens towards its cataclysmic conclusion! Four so-called Marvel "heroes" shot the Hulk into space. Their exploding shuttle destroyed his people and pregnant queen. And the Hulk has taught them what their arrogance has wrought. But now the Hulk faces the puny humans' greatest champion. And as the terrible battle rages, who will stand revealed as the hero – and who will be proved the monster? Who knows the difference between vengeance and justice? And who will pay the terrible price of anger?

Man, the only person I’d like to see get beaten to paste by the Hulk more than Tony Stark at this point is probably the Sentry because, well, I’ve always hated that guy, but he’s so powerful that there just aren’t that many opportunities to see someone beat him to paste. But if anyone can, it’s the Hulk. Go get him big guy! Give him one for me!





WHAT IF? PLANET HULKWritten by GREG PAK. Penciled by RAFA SANDOVARL & CAFU. Cover by CARLO PAGULAYAN. Last year, a group of Marvel heroes decided the Hulk was too dangerous for Earth, tricked him into a shuttle, and shot him into space. After the Hulk rose from slave to gladiator to conquering emperor on the savage planet of Sakaar, the shuttle exploded – destroying the Hulk's people and his pregnant queen. And the entire Marvel Universe knows what happened next as the Hulk returned to wreak his terrible vengeance in the pages of "World War Hulk." But what if the Hulk had landed on the peaceful planet the Marvel heroes originally intended? What if Banner had landed on Sakaar instead of the Hulk? And what if the Hulk's warrior bride Caiera the Oldstrong had come to Earth seeking vengeance instead of her husband? Get ready for three shocking tales of what could have been from the writer of the "Planet Hulk" and "World War Hulk" epics.

Wow, that was fast.