G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero Pt. 6

It's time once again to revisit Larry Hama and company's original 1982-1994 Marvel Comics series, G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero (via Image Comics' 2024 G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Compendium Vol. 1). Today we we'll be looking at issues #28-30. (Only 20 more issues to go...! In this volume. And then 105 more issues after that until the end of the series.)

As per usual, I am pulling the covers posted below from the Grand Comics Database, rather than from the collection itself, which is why they still say "Marvel" on them. And Larry Hama wrote all of these, which is why I'm not listing his writer credit on each. 

G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero #28 (1984)

Art by Marie Severin and Andy Mushynsky

•If the last couple of issues, which featured the two-part origin of Snake Eyes, were too heavy on backstory for you, Hama makes up for it with this issue, which is pretty much all fighting...plus a little comedy relief, with even some of those comedy relief characters involving themselves in the fighting.

So, the Joe team that was inserted into the swamp has retreated via rubber raft back to the G.I. Jane (see the splash page atop the post), from which a heavier team will launch to attack the Cobra base there. Zartan and his Dreadnoks, all of whom are piloting little Chameleon swamp skiers, have tracked the Joes to the boat, and assuming that a strike force will be on the way, warn Cobra Commander and then split: "My friends and I are departing for parts unknown...My lair is yours--Just leave the keys under the mat." 

Destro, The Baroness and Wild Weasel all climb into Rattlers stashed nearby, while, in Zartan's HQ, Cobra Commander and Firefly discover a hidden panel which controls a secret army of Cobra robot troopers and remote-controlled HISS ("High Speed Sentry") tanks. (The robots look like regular Cobra troopers, albeit with metal faces and blinking antennas atop their heads; these are apparently a comic book predecessor to the later B.A.T.s, or "Battle Android Troopers", black and yellow androids introduced into the toy line and the cartoon in 1986.)

The Joe force consists of the WHALE (The toy package reads "Warrior Hovering Assault Launch Envoy", but an editorial box here says that acronym stands for "Water-borne Hovercraft Assault Landing Experimental), piloted by Cutter and carrying Deep-Six, Duke and Roadblock (the last two of whom have just arrived off the coast of Florida from Alcatraz); a Dragonfly helicopter piloted by Wild Bill, with Doc riding shotgun; and a tank crewed by Steeler, Clutch, Braker and another Joe in green who I don't think gets named in the issue.

Everybody fights. 

•As for the comedy relief, there's a Florida sheriff and his deputy, R.L., who see the Joe tank arrive suddenly and dramatically, with Steeler driving right through the wall of a box car on the moving train that was delivering it to Florida. It scrapes and damages the sheriff's vehicle, after which the lawmen give chase, demanding the tank pull over, which the Joes refuse to do ("This here is a tank, if you haven't noticed," one of the Joes tells the sheriff when he splutters a threat over his loudspeaker). When they meet up with the robot Cobra force, the sheriff joins the fray, blasting robot soldiers with his shotgun while hanging out of the passenger side window of their vehicle.

"Great jumpin' poliwogs!" the sheriff exclaims as the robots and HISS pour out of the swamp. "We done run into a nest o' armed subversive anarchists or some-such!!!" 

He soon corrects himself as he notices the "soldiers" being blown into various metal pieces. "Them's ain't anarchists! Them's robots!!!" 

The Florida lawmen finally leave the battle on foot, when Wild Weasel sends a missile at their car.

•The other bit of comedy relief involves a couple who look like that from Grant Wood's "American Gothic" painting, who are struggling with the TV set on their porch when the WHALE streaks by. They do not get involved in the fight, though.

•There are two bits of real badassery in this battle, both of which you can see in the panels above.  Destro strafes the WHALE in one pass, destroying Roadblock's gun, wounding Deep-Six and damaging his gun so badly that he can't elevate it to find Destro's range as he comes back for another pass.

Roadblock, using just brute strength, elevates the gun himself ("Won't and can't are two words I don't believe in" he tells Deep-Six and, later, when Duke congratulates him, Roadblock hooks a thumb in Deep-Six's direction, saying "I just stood there, Duke. He pulled the trigger.")

Meanwhile, Destro takes a bullet right in the kisser, and reacts as if he had simply been stung by a bee.

•In the end, Wild Weasel picks up Cobra Commander in his Rattler to fly him to safety...the two-man plane not having enough room to take Firefly with them ("But you're a resourceful lad," the Commander tells him, "I'm sure you'll do just fine." Then, he says to himself once in the air, "Ah, yes...I must remember to re-stock my supply of lackeys when I get back to Springfield..."). A pissed-off Firefly stomps through the swamp, swearing vengeance, when he runs into Destro, who was also left behind after his Rattler was shot down.

As for the Joes, their WHALE is badly damaged, and several of them are wounded, particularly Deep-Six. While no one died, this battle does seem to have had a greater cost than some of the others in this series. 

G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero #29 (1984)

Art by Frank Springer and Andy Mushynsky

•There's an awful lot going on in this issue. In the aftermath of the previous issue's battle, the Joes are repairing the badly damaged WHALE. Destro and Firefly have to make it out of the swamp and back to Springfield by themselves, which means getting past the Joes. And Cobra Commander unveils a new, long-term plan to subvert American democracy which seems...familiar.

•While the Joes work on the WHALE at a rather public dock in Ehrlinger's Cove, the locals jeer at the "The little sojer boys" who "done bwoke their wubber waft." In the opening splash page featuring the WHALE Springer draws a "G.I. Joe" logo on its side. I thought the team was top secret? Should they really put their logo on their vehicles? Heck, should they even have a logo? 

•Another demonstration of just how strong Roadblock is. Three grown men hang on a big piece of metal armor he's toting around just to mess with him, and he doesn't even notice the extra weight. 

•As soon as he arrives back in Springfield, Cobra Commander goes directly from Wild Weasel's Rattler to deliver a speech, the Nazi-ish, fascist trappings of which puts Donald Trump's most dictator-coded moves to date to shame. There's massive dais with the Cobra logo on it, huge torches and banners everywhere (Of course, if this was Trump, those banners would have his face on them, rather than a logo of some kind; unlike Cobra Commander, the real-world villain doesn't even pretend to be part of some larger group or movement beyond himself).

•The gaslighting claiming military victory after an engagement that was anything but sounds familiar to what I see on the news every day now regarding the Iran war, too: "Do not let false rumors of our military mishaps alarm you! Cobra is winning!"

•I think it worth lingering on the Commander's speech a bit here, as I find it interesting to see what Hama and Marvel circa 1984 thought an evil, anti-American organization might believe, express and strive for. 

I think it especially so because, unlike real-world terrorist organizations (or even most fictional ones), Cobra isn't formed around a particular interpretation of a religious faith or a clear animating political objective; instead, they just seem to be anti-American, and, as the opening of the cartoon always says, "determined to rule the world." (And, despite how fascistic they style of Cobra might be, they don't seem to be organized around a strong man; their leader is not only so mysterious nobody knows his basic biography or even real name or face, but those that do know him best seem to be constantly trying to betray him.)  

So, here's more of his speech:

When the citizenry loll back on their fat haunches and hire the poor minorities to do their dirty work, we win!

When love of money eclipse moral conviction, we win!

When good men see the ascension of evil and do nothing, we win!

So, um, 42 years later, is Cobra still winning...? 

•Cobra Commander goes on to summarize some successes, a series of schemes which range from the entirely plausible ("Our nationwide 'Greed Is Good For You' seminars are filled to capacity") to the semi-silly ("Our media department has succeeded in selling ten more mindless sitcoms to the networks to further lower the intelligence of America!"...The Commander would have loved reality TV, social media, YouTube and TikTok...!).

He then goes on to introduce a new plot, involving a handsome, young, upwardly mobile businessman in a suit, a member of Cobra's Crimson Guard. The example the Commander parades here is wearing a very off-model costume, but this comports almost exactly with my memories of the file card that came with the Crimson Guard action figure, which was one of the relatively few G.I. Joe figures I had as a child, which described them as elite soldiers infiltrating the professional class of America while working in secret to further the aims of Cobra.  

The Commander describes him as, "On the surface, an upstanding pillar of the community...a loving husband. A fair and compassionate father-- --The last person to be suspected of being a deep-cover Cobra agent!!"

He goes on: "He will worm his way into the confidences of the mighty and work his way upward in the political machine to the senate and...dare we hope--higher?"

Now, a deep-cover agent being "the last person to be suspected" of being one is pretty de rigueur for 

spies of all sorts. As a little kid reading the file card, and just now again as an adult, this sounded somewhat Red Scare inspired, the idea that prominent people throughout American society were actually agents of our communist enemies. And certainly, the Commander's mention of one potentially achieving a position higher than a senator one day calls to mind elements of The Manchuria Candidate. 

Reading this in 2026, I also thought about the religious right's decades-long effort to fill the judiciary with anti-abortion judges, a plot so successful that, in 2022, they finally had enough such judges on the Supreme Court itself that they were able to overturn Roe v. Wade. 

There's something to be said for the long game, for bad guys posing as pillars of society, for worming one's way into the confidences of the might and working one's way upward in the political machine, huh? 

The Crimson Guard action figure would be released in 1985, the year the first season of the cartoon show debuted, in which the Guard also appeared. That this is some months earlier, that might help explain why the costume this Guardsman is wearing looks so off; perhaps the design wasn't yet finalized...?

The toy and cartoon design are pretty great though, and remains one of my favorite visuals from the franchise.

•As the Joes finish fixing up the WHALE (and Destro and Firefly sneak up on them, intent on stealing it as a getaway vehicle), Cutter drops a tool into a toolbox, wipes his brow and says to himself, "Me for a frosty bottle of Yo-Jo Kola!"

This is the first appearance of the Joe's favorite brand of soda, which inexplicably has their cartoon battle cry in its name. It will be mentioned again and again in the comic and cartoon, although it's usually spelled cola-with-a-C.

I am curious of its origins, if Hama's first draft of a script mentioned a more natural bottled beverage, sometimes described as "frosty", for a grown man to desire after a hard day's work. You know, a beer. 

But this being a comic book marketed to children, the remit of which was specifically to tell toys to those children, perhaps the editors at Marvel balked at the mention of an alcoholic beverage, and thus we have Cutter craving a soda pop in this panel...? (Later in the series, we'll see the Dreadnoks repeatedly referring to grape soada and, in a few issues hence, Doc offers Deep-Six a cup of hot chocolate rather than coffee, and I thought the same thing; especially since Hama has Deep-Six reply that he never touches the stuff.)

•Destro jumps Cutter, who tries to fight him off hand-to-hand, causing the incredulous, metal-faced Destro to respond, "Did you think you could hurt me by punching me? In the face?" 

I love that he always takes every opportunity to point out that his mask isn't just metal, but "polished berylium steel." 

(I think this came up previously, but spellcheck says it's "beryllium", with two L's, while the comic says "berylium" with one L. Of course, the comic seems unable to decide whether there's a hyphen in Snake Eyes' name or not, so maybe its spelling isn't to be trusted...)

•Though beat up pretty badly ("Feels like I been stopping bowling balls with my face..."), Cutter isn't about to let Destro make off with his WHALE, which leads to a rather wild chase, complete with a few scenes of comedy relief (including some more appearances by our friends the sheriff and Deputy R.L.). While Duke and Wild Bill chase the WHALE in the Dragonfly, Cutter makes it back to the G.I. Jane and joins the chase, which means driving it overland on its hydrofoils until those fall off and he fortuitously lands in a channel. 

•I'm a big fan of this panel. See Trip-Wire there? That would be me on, like, every G.I. Joe mission.

•In the end, Destro uses his wrist rockets to shoot down the Dragonfly, forcing Wild Bill to make a seemingly impossible landing aboard the Jane in a flaming helicopter. While the Joes are distracted, Firefly has an audacious escape plan: He has Destro lash the WHALE's wheel, and then he and Destro hide away in the barrel-sized containers of emptied depth launchers. When the Jane is finally able to suck up the WHALE through its open hull doors, the Joes find neither enemy aboard....just an impossible to defuse bomb that Firefly left behind for them.

•Trip-Wire prepares to make the ultimate sacrifice to save the others, but Roadblock isn't having it: 

He kicks Trip-Wire off the explosive device, picks it up, and then throws it to a duct leading to a funnel on deck, where it explodes harmlessly in the open air. A few panels later, Roadblock compliments Trip-Wire's show of bravery here but also gives him a lecture: "Uncle Sam paid megabucks to train you to fight with a team. A dead hero don't do his buddies no good, and medals ain't no shinier when they're posthumous."

G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero #30 (1984)

Art by Frank Springer and Andy Mushysnsky and Pat Redding

•When Zartan and his Dreadnoks think they recognize the Dragonfly from the battle in the Florida swamp landing at McGuire Aire Force Base in New Jersey—which, coincidentally, is where they retreated to—Zartan does some incognito investigation and, seeing some Joes there, reports to Cobra Commander. He's convinced the Joe base is hidden there and prepares Coba for a full-scale attack. 

•Meanwhile, on Staten Island, we see one of the Crimson Guards and his fake family have just bought a new house near the Chaplain's Assistant's School at Fort Wadsworth, AKA right next to the secret location of the actual Joe base, The Pit.

"Fred Broca" doesn't seem to be all that great at staying undercover, though. Note his last name is just "Cobra" spelled backwards, and the Cobra hood ornament on his car above. A moving truck marked "Arbco Moving & Storage" (yes, an anagram of "Cobra") delivers boxes to the family's new house, and these undercover Cobra agents will spend the rest of the issue setting up their highly advanced spy equipment. If G.I. Joe is based in the area—and they are!—then they are sure to detect them. 

Fortunately for the Joes, just as Fred is about to turn the equipment on, he gets a phone call telling him to return to Springfield, as the Commander thinks he's found the Joes' base. Fred and his wife react by smashing their equipment in frustration. 

•Speaking of Arbco, Cobra is using a line of Arbco Brothers Circus trucks to transport their weaponry to the area for an attack. Billy, the little boy from Springfield we met way back in G.I. Joe #10, has stowed away on one and is snooping when he's discovered by The Baroness and Major Bludd. 

"Perhaps he resents Cobra enough to join our cause!" The Baroness says. 

This will prove important later. 

•The rest of the issue involves a sizable Joes vs. Cobra battle. The Dreadnoks were charged with doing recon at the airfield base and then cutting a hole in the fence to allow Cobra's forces to sneak in. Instead, they use their weird weapons to start chopping up planes (see Mike Zeck's cover above), inadvertently causing an explosion and alerting the base (and the Joes) of their presence.

Cobra Commander leads an attack with HISS tanks and FANG (Fully Armed Negator Gyrocopter) helicopters, and the Joes engage and ultimately repel them.